I recently came across an ad on Facebook that said, "Only 2% of women think of themselves as beautiful..." and this really hit me. The ad was for Dove's Self-Esteem campaign. Now, I have to admit, I am of the 98% of women in that poll. If you were to ask me to describe myself, "beautiful" would not be one of the adjectives to come to mind first. Now, I don't think I'm horrifying or anything, but I also don't see myself as "beautiful". There are many more adjectives that would fall before that. I am a mom, a sister, a girlfriend, a daughter, a best friend, a Filipina, athletic, optimistic, blessed, loving, caring, a Scorpio, a hard-worker, determined,.. and the list goes on and on before I even reach "beautiful".
I love Dove's Self-Esteem campaign. I love their goal and I love that they're targeting girls at a young age. In this day and age, the media has completely manipulated and obscured the idea of beauty. There are so many girls and women out there who are nearly killing themselves (literally) to fit society's image and mold of what beauty is. Since when did beauty mean you had to have every bone in your torso protrude from your skin, and for grown women to be a size 0? The average woman is naturally curvaceous. The average women has 'imperfections' that are really characteristics that help individualize who they are. You are not able to see every single bone stick out through the average woman's skin. The average woman should have a healthy shape and be a healthy and appropriate size for her stature. Unless you are naturally slender, a size 0 is not exactly healthy. The average woman, no matter the shape and size, is beautiful.
There are so many women and girls out there who go through leaps and bounds and such great lengths to try to fit into the mutated definition of "beautiful" media and society have portrayed for us. Now, I cannot say I am not a victim of this. I cannot say that I do not have any self-esteem or self-image issues. I too have self-esteem and self-image issues. I am not necessarily satisfied with what I see in the mirror. I cannot say I haven't tried a variety of unhealthy ways to obtain a more "beautiful" body. But, what I can say is that I have made improvements. I am on a healthier path of obtaining the image I seek. I know I will never ever be a size 0. It's physically impossible for me, but I do know that I can be healthier if I stay healthy. I only hope that the thousand upon thousands of girls and women out there get a hold of the Dove Self-Esteem campaign.
Another one of my favorite campaigns is Operation Beautiful. Check it out! Their idea is that if you place little random notes of kindness in random places, you may touch someone and put a smile on their face because you have made them feel beautiful. You should put up little posters and little sticky notes everywhere. You never know who you can help and who's lives you can touch by such a simple gesture. Tell a stranger they are beautiful (in a non-creepers way :P). Just say it aloud in passing somewhere. Who knows, you could make someones day and potentially change their lives forever. If we could all love ourselves and love each other (aka. not bagging on someone by their shape and size) the world would be a much better place. Women and girls (myself included) needs to find the beauty within ourselves and each other. We, like these campaigns, need to make strides to redefine what "beauty" really is.
I don't know about you, but I hope to have a daughter one day (at least one...). And, when I do have a daughter, I want her to grow up in a society that sees the beauty in all shapes and sizes. I want her knowing she's beautiful inside and out, and not just because her mommy says she is. I want her knowing that just being healthy is a beautiful thing. I want my daughter to describer herself as "beautiful".
Self-image and self-esteem problems are not only present in the female population; guys have these problems too. They may be a bit different than women's, but in essence, it's the exact same. Their issues may not be as apparent as women's but they are definitely there. So, look to your sons and other men in your life and tell them how handsome (and if appropriate, "sexy") they are. There are males out there who have eating disorders and go through cosmetic surgeries to look like the Calvin Klein models. Men, we don't need to see every muscle in your body defined. Men, not all of you are physically capable of looking like those models. As long as your are healthy for you, everything else will fall into place.
I know one day the definition of beauty will change back to the Marilyn Monroe days (she was a size 16, you know!). Those days where beauty came in all sizes. You may think I'm dreaming, but I really believe that this day will come. With campaigns like Dove and Operation Beautiful, I strongly believe that we will be healthier in years to come. So, for the upcoming generations, tell someone they are beautiful. Provide a healthy environment for their self-esteem to flourish. And, with HIS love, teach someone to love themselves.
What about you? Do you consider yourself as beautiful? Would you use it to describe yourself? Have you told someone they are beautiful today? What about yesterday? How about tomorrow?. What is your definition of beautiful? Is it a healthy one?
As for the musical fix for the day, this one is only fitting.
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Giving Thanks
Since yesterday was Thanksgiving, I feel it necessary to give my thanks. Yesterday was a very interesting day (interesting in that it was unexpectedly extremely emotional). But, by the time I lay my head to rest, there were many things to be thankful for.
I am thankful for:
~ my large, loud, Filipino family.
It's always a good time when my family gets together. But yesterday, I sat back and actually watched my family eat and have fun with each other. The older group parks in the formal dining room where all you hear is Tagalog chit chat and chismis (gossip). You hear uproars of laughter and then it gets really quiet as if they're telling each other secrets.
In the kitchen there are three opened bottles of wine, a large, Costco sized bottle of Skye vodka barely touched and other beverages going around. People talking about how good the ribs are and if they saw the yummy Red Velvet cheesecake in the fridge.
Then, in the less formal dining area sits the younger group of the family; all the cousins and such. All female, you know all they're doing is gossiping and talking about past events and future events approaching. How did the Kat's birthday party go? Wedding details for my cousin's wedding this coming June. Laughing about all the firefighters that will be there (she's marrying a firefighter). And as we all laugh about the potentially hot firefighters, we look around the table and realize that all but one of us are in relationships and that causes yet another uproar of laughter.
On the living room floor you find the kids making a mess. Fighting over the Lego's and the pull toy dog, and the trucks, and cars, and other various toys TJ owns. You hear their littler chatter as they narrate what they're building and the stories behind what they're doing. Then the occasional quarrel breaks out and one of the adults steps in and tells them to share and play nice (usually addressed to my son... we're working on that... :]) And then they simultaneously pause their play to tune into the movie playing on TV.
...and for all of that I am so very thankful!
~my beautiful son
Yesterday I realized that he is finally out of the terrible two's, but some of it still lingers. Those leftovers I have chalked up and accepted that it's part of his personality and we're going to have to work on that. Yesterday my mom's, college friend's, daughter's, daughter was playing with my son. He's 3, she's 4. They would play along fine for a little bit. They would chase after one another and play whatever imagination games they've got going on. And then something rubbed my son the wrong way and he'd want to keep all of his toys and not share. We told him to share, he said sorry to her, and gave her big hugs and kisses.
My son is rowdy and a bit selfish at times. But, he's also very caring and he loves a lot. He's a bit rough when he plays, but he's a boy and that's natural. He's defiant and yet so giving all at once. He has his little quarks that make him who he is. Yes, we will work on the playing well with others part and the sharing part. He is, after all, only 3 so I figure we've got time for all of that. But for the most part, he's a great kid and although the circumstances aren't ideal, I wouldn't give him up for anything and there are absolutely no regrets around him.
...and for his beautiful spirit and love I am so very thankful!
Lastly,
~my wonderful boyfriend
We didn't start Thanksgiving in the most pleasant of ways (I take fault for not approaching my issue with tact, sorry). At one point during the day I didn't want to hear his voice to see him or anything. But something in me told me to still go over there and have Thanksgiving lunch with him and his mom. Before I left, we hugged, kissed, and I shed a few tears and I headed back home for Thanksgiving at my house. He said he was going to try to come, but I knew he wasn't going to make it. Something wasn't settling properly. Then before I went to bed, we had a long talk. We were able to actually talk rather than fight and sort things out to where we have a better understanding for each other.
I woke up this morning very grateful for the man in my life. At one point yesterday I was ready to throw my hands up and just call it quits. I have grown weary of bickering. It's not any fun and it's putting a damper on my spirits. But, this morning I realized that we are able to talk through anything. We are able to be mature adults about things. We want to grow with one another. Both of us WANT to learn and understand each other better. Our love for each other is so great that we only want for us to work out. If we can continue to walk this way through and through, then we will be just fine.
...and for my loving boyfriend I am so very thankful!
There are many more things I am grateful for (like wonderful friends) that I didn't mention here. These are the things that I realized I am so thankful for because of Thanksgiving Day.
It is interesting how one day can open your eyes to so many blessings. I know I am blessed everyday. However, there are days where the sight of my blessings are blurry. It's important to clear away the resentment, the pessimism, and the bad feeling in order to see and focus on all the good in your life. Things always seem greener on the other side, but that's because you fail to see how green it is right under your feet.
You are blessed! If you are able to read this on your own computer, you are blessed. If you have access to read this on a public computer, you are blessed. If you are able to read, you are blessed. Always keep in mind that things can be worse off, but they're not. So, don't forget to thank the LORD for everything you have because HE has blessed you and HE will continue to bless you as long as you continue to give thanks unto HIM.
As for your musical feed for the day, I'm taking it back to the 90's. Remember this...Enjoy!
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
I am thankful for:
~ my large, loud, Filipino family.
It's always a good time when my family gets together. But yesterday, I sat back and actually watched my family eat and have fun with each other. The older group parks in the formal dining room where all you hear is Tagalog chit chat and chismis (gossip). You hear uproars of laughter and then it gets really quiet as if they're telling each other secrets.
In the kitchen there are three opened bottles of wine, a large, Costco sized bottle of Skye vodka barely touched and other beverages going around. People talking about how good the ribs are and if they saw the yummy Red Velvet cheesecake in the fridge.
Then, in the less formal dining area sits the younger group of the family; all the cousins and such. All female, you know all they're doing is gossiping and talking about past events and future events approaching. How did the Kat's birthday party go? Wedding details for my cousin's wedding this coming June. Laughing about all the firefighters that will be there (she's marrying a firefighter). And as we all laugh about the potentially hot firefighters, we look around the table and realize that all but one of us are in relationships and that causes yet another uproar of laughter.
On the living room floor you find the kids making a mess. Fighting over the Lego's and the pull toy dog, and the trucks, and cars, and other various toys TJ owns. You hear their littler chatter as they narrate what they're building and the stories behind what they're doing. Then the occasional quarrel breaks out and one of the adults steps in and tells them to share and play nice (usually addressed to my son... we're working on that... :]) And then they simultaneously pause their play to tune into the movie playing on TV.
...and for all of that I am so very thankful!
~my beautiful son
Yesterday I realized that he is finally out of the terrible two's, but some of it still lingers. Those leftovers I have chalked up and accepted that it's part of his personality and we're going to have to work on that. Yesterday my mom's, college friend's, daughter's, daughter was playing with my son. He's 3, she's 4. They would play along fine for a little bit. They would chase after one another and play whatever imagination games they've got going on. And then something rubbed my son the wrong way and he'd want to keep all of his toys and not share. We told him to share, he said sorry to her, and gave her big hugs and kisses.
My son is rowdy and a bit selfish at times. But, he's also very caring and he loves a lot. He's a bit rough when he plays, but he's a boy and that's natural. He's defiant and yet so giving all at once. He has his little quarks that make him who he is. Yes, we will work on the playing well with others part and the sharing part. He is, after all, only 3 so I figure we've got time for all of that. But for the most part, he's a great kid and although the circumstances aren't ideal, I wouldn't give him up for anything and there are absolutely no regrets around him.
...and for his beautiful spirit and love I am so very thankful!
Lastly,
~my wonderful boyfriend
We didn't start Thanksgiving in the most pleasant of ways (I take fault for not approaching my issue with tact, sorry). At one point during the day I didn't want to hear his voice to see him or anything. But something in me told me to still go over there and have Thanksgiving lunch with him and his mom. Before I left, we hugged, kissed, and I shed a few tears and I headed back home for Thanksgiving at my house. He said he was going to try to come, but I knew he wasn't going to make it. Something wasn't settling properly. Then before I went to bed, we had a long talk. We were able to actually talk rather than fight and sort things out to where we have a better understanding for each other.
I woke up this morning very grateful for the man in my life. At one point yesterday I was ready to throw my hands up and just call it quits. I have grown weary of bickering. It's not any fun and it's putting a damper on my spirits. But, this morning I realized that we are able to talk through anything. We are able to be mature adults about things. We want to grow with one another. Both of us WANT to learn and understand each other better. Our love for each other is so great that we only want for us to work out. If we can continue to walk this way through and through, then we will be just fine.
...and for my loving boyfriend I am so very thankful!
There are many more things I am grateful for (like wonderful friends) that I didn't mention here. These are the things that I realized I am so thankful for because of Thanksgiving Day.
It is interesting how one day can open your eyes to so many blessings. I know I am blessed everyday. However, there are days where the sight of my blessings are blurry. It's important to clear away the resentment, the pessimism, and the bad feeling in order to see and focus on all the good in your life. Things always seem greener on the other side, but that's because you fail to see how green it is right under your feet.
You are blessed! If you are able to read this on your own computer, you are blessed. If you have access to read this on a public computer, you are blessed. If you are able to read, you are blessed. Always keep in mind that things can be worse off, but they're not. So, don't forget to thank the LORD for everything you have because HE has blessed you and HE will continue to bless you as long as you continue to give thanks unto HIM.
As for your musical feed for the day, I'm taking it back to the 90's. Remember this...Enjoy!
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Fear
This past Monday was my 25th birthday! Woo hooo for birthdays!! Although, this one came with a bit of stigma. I'm half way to 50, a quarter of the way to 100 and I asked myself, "am I where I want to be at 25?" And the answer is obvious, "no, I am nowhere close to where I want to be at the age of 25" and this scares me; this scares me so bad. It is such an ugly reality check.
In response to this ugly reality, I have asked myself so many questions. These questions include:
~What exactly do I want to do "when I grow up"?
~What do I have to do to get there?
~Am I the person/mother/girlfriend I want to be?
~Do I do my best everyday?
~Do I strive to do even better with everyday?
~Am I happy?
~How do I love?
~Do I love myself?
~In what areas can I change and improve?
But the question that got my really thinking was, "What do I fear?"
It turns out I fear a lot of things. Interestingly, most of the things I fear involves uncertainty. Most people fear what they cannot control, and I am definitely one of them. I fear losing my son, my family, and loved ones to death. There have been many a night I wake up crying. I'm not talking about a few tears in my eyes. I'm talking about my pillow is soaked as the tears fall streaming down my face. Apparently, I fear being chased because I have many nightmares of people, things, creatures, chasing me. I'm not sure what those dreams really mean.
Another major thing I fear is loneliness. Don't get me wrong, I love my solitude, but I fear loneliness. I fear having nobody to turn to when I need someone the most. I fear feeling like I'm the only one looking out for me. I know that I have many people around me who love me and care for me. But, I still fear loneliness. Odd, I know.
My biggest fear, however, is extremely daunting. I fear not getting to where I want to be "when I grow up". I'm can only pray that I am on the road HE wants me to be on. It's frightening because where I am right now is nowhere close to where I ever thought I would be. When I graduated high school, I always said, "I should be doing ______ by the time I turn 25",
"I need to be close to _______ when I turn 25". Well, now, 25 is here and I feel like I don't even see the road I'm supposed to be on. I have considered that perhaps I am on the road I should be on, but there is just a lot of brush and thick trees in the way so I don't exactly have a clear sight of my road. But either way, I fear not being where I'm supposed to be; I fear I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing; I fear not ever getting to where I want to be. I fear I'll never be as successful as I want to be. I fear I won't be able to support my family. I fear I won't reach my full potential.
This fear makes me think that I need a major change. This fear makes me wonder if I should completely change my job. But that in itself is another fear in this economy. Suppose I don't find something. So I think I am best off where I am and what I'm doing at this point in time. This fear also makes me think that I should change my environment. Perhaps it's not only time for a change of environment from my "9-5", but maybe I should also change my 24/7. I have considered moving... but the thought of moving is a fear in itself.
All of these fears cause for extreme headaches. I know it is important not to worry. As my pastor said this past weekend, "If you worry about things you can't change, then you're dumb. If you worry about things that can change, then you're lazy". So I need to worry less, fear less and continue to pray more. I know none of this is in my power, but as humans it is hard to diminish all fears and eliminate all worry. All we can do is strive to do better everyday.
Do you have fears? What are they? What are you doing to fear less? Are they reasonable fears, or are they irrational? It is important to take some time to self-reflect and figure these things out from time to time.
As for this post's taste of music, it doesn't directly relate to fear. But, there are two reasons I chose this one. 1) I love her and 2) I love this track and it makes me wonder if I need to act upon my need for change... maybe one day you may find me there... enjoy!
...and this one is a bonus because I really love her and I love this new track...
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
In response to this ugly reality, I have asked myself so many questions. These questions include:
~What exactly do I want to do "when I grow up"?
~What do I have to do to get there?
~Am I the person/mother/girlfriend I want to be?
~Do I do my best everyday?
~Do I strive to do even better with everyday?
~Am I happy?
~How do I love?
~Do I love myself?
~In what areas can I change and improve?
But the question that got my really thinking was, "What do I fear?"
It turns out I fear a lot of things. Interestingly, most of the things I fear involves uncertainty. Most people fear what they cannot control, and I am definitely one of them. I fear losing my son, my family, and loved ones to death. There have been many a night I wake up crying. I'm not talking about a few tears in my eyes. I'm talking about my pillow is soaked as the tears fall streaming down my face. Apparently, I fear being chased because I have many nightmares of people, things, creatures, chasing me. I'm not sure what those dreams really mean.
Another major thing I fear is loneliness. Don't get me wrong, I love my solitude, but I fear loneliness. I fear having nobody to turn to when I need someone the most. I fear feeling like I'm the only one looking out for me. I know that I have many people around me who love me and care for me. But, I still fear loneliness. Odd, I know.
My biggest fear, however, is extremely daunting. I fear not getting to where I want to be "when I grow up". I'm can only pray that I am on the road HE wants me to be on. It's frightening because where I am right now is nowhere close to where I ever thought I would be. When I graduated high school, I always said, "I should be doing ______ by the time I turn 25",
"I need to be close to _______ when I turn 25". Well, now, 25 is here and I feel like I don't even see the road I'm supposed to be on. I have considered that perhaps I am on the road I should be on, but there is just a lot of brush and thick trees in the way so I don't exactly have a clear sight of my road. But either way, I fear not being where I'm supposed to be; I fear I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing; I fear not ever getting to where I want to be. I fear I'll never be as successful as I want to be. I fear I won't be able to support my family. I fear I won't reach my full potential.
This fear makes me think that I need a major change. This fear makes me wonder if I should completely change my job. But that in itself is another fear in this economy. Suppose I don't find something. So I think I am best off where I am and what I'm doing at this point in time. This fear also makes me think that I should change my environment. Perhaps it's not only time for a change of environment from my "9-5", but maybe I should also change my 24/7. I have considered moving... but the thought of moving is a fear in itself.
All of these fears cause for extreme headaches. I know it is important not to worry. As my pastor said this past weekend, "If you worry about things you can't change, then you're dumb. If you worry about things that can change, then you're lazy". So I need to worry less, fear less and continue to pray more. I know none of this is in my power, but as humans it is hard to diminish all fears and eliminate all worry. All we can do is strive to do better everyday.
Do you have fears? What are they? What are you doing to fear less? Are they reasonable fears, or are they irrational? It is important to take some time to self-reflect and figure these things out from time to time.
As for this post's taste of music, it doesn't directly relate to fear. But, there are two reasons I chose this one. 1) I love her and 2) I love this track and it makes me wonder if I need to act upon my need for change... maybe one day you may find me there... enjoy!
...and this one is a bonus because I really love her and I love this new track...
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
Friday, October 30, 2009
Girls and Boys
There is this common misconception that women are more complicated than men. Yes, we do tend to be slightly more emotional, but in most cases, how we deal with our emotions are similar to how men deal with their emotions. Just like men, there are times to be comforted and there are times to be left alone; there are times for a good long pep talk, and there are time for a pat on the back. The problem is, men don't know at what times to use what method of comfort, and vice versa.
Last night, I came to the conclusion that boyfriends don't make very good girlfriends, and I'm sure men could argue the same about their girlfriends. Your girlfriend/boyfriend should be your best friend. However, there are times when a girl can't just go to her boyfriend with certain things. There are times a girlfriend needs a girlfriend. It's just like when guys want to go to the bar and watch the game with the guys. It's cool to bring your girlfriend to the bar to watch the game if she's into that sort of thing. But sometimes, it's best to be with the guys.
In my personal experience, i have learned that I'm better off with a pat on the back and an, "everything is going to be alright". There are few times when I actually need a pep talk. There are times when I'm stuck in a rut and the only thing that will help is a pint of ice cream and a good chick flick. Well, I made the horrible mistake of going to my boyfriend in this time of need. He wanted to fix it. He wanted so desperately to pull me out of that rut. He was trying everything he could think of to cheer me up. At the time, his efforts were just irritating and it amplified the situation. It was only the morning after that I realized (with the help of a girlfriend) that he was only trying to help. I was getting mad at him because he was only trying to help. Well, here's a message to the male reader: When your girl is stuck in a rut and wants to throw herself a pity party, let her! She knows it's not going to change the situation. She knows feeling sorry for herself won't make the world a better place. But all she needs is a little time and she will willingly climb out of said rut she was stuck in. Just quietly tell her to give it time and that things will get better, that's it.
Also, why is it that when a girl asks her boyfriend the infamous question, "what's wrong?" and the boyfriend's response is, "nothing", even though both parties are well aware of the fact that something is, indeed, wrong the girl is supposed to drop it and leave it at that? However, when a guy asks his girl said infamous question, and the girl says "nothing", the guy feels it necessary to continue to ask and pry until she comes out bursting with tears. Guys, look what you've done! You've made a mess. She was trying not to make a mess, and you made her make a mess! Why can't guys just drop the situation when the girls say "nothing"? I realize it can get tricky here because some girls like to play mind games. Some girls want you to pry and keep poking at it because, to them, it shows that you're concerned and that you care. That's bullshit on the girls part. Girls: stop playing games with your men. When you say "nothing", mean "nothing"! Interestingly, I know some men who do the same. I know some men who say "nothing" but really mean "something" but they don't want to elaborate. Or, when the guy responds with "don't worry about it" is my favorite. Don't worry about it, huh? I'm your girlfriend. It's my job to worry about it just as it's your job to try to make me feel better. That's what loved ones do.
We, as a couple, care about each other so much that sometimes it gets in the way. We want so badly to fix things, make things better, do whatever we can to ameliorate the situation. So, we do what we think is helpful. However, in the end, we end up doing more harm than good; we end up amplifying the situation, creating things that may not be there in the first place. What may start out as a simple venting session turns out to be a full blown out fight. We fight because one wants to help the other and the other just wants the one person to shut up. For me, less is better. Don't give me reason after reason after example after example. Sum it up in one, clean, concise sentence (maybe two if necessary). Say less and do more. Hug me, hold me, kiss me, play with my hair, give me a massage, rub my back...but in silence. Just SHOW me that things will get better, because I already know, in my head, that things will get better. I'm hardest on myself. I've already given myself a pep talk; I've already rationalized every aspect of the situation; I've turned every corner, so I don't need to hear it again. I just want to be shown that you care.
As humans, we are a complicated and complex species. Our ability to think, comprehend, and communicate the way we do is a blessing and a curse. Sometimes we forget to communicate making us over-think and lose all sense of comprehension causing all sorts of trouble to occur. So, let's do all of us a favor and make steps towards communicating better. Not only speak, but listen. If she says she does not want to talk about it, or if she wants to drop it, drop it. I'm not saying I'm some expert communicator myself, but I'm making efforts in doing better. This does not only pertain to people in an intimate relationship. This is relevant to all people in all sorts of relationship. Speak AND listen. You can't just speak with out listening, and it's not good to listen without speak. Find the balance.
What about you? Are you a good listener? Do you communicate well with others? Do you speak more than you listen? Do you listen more than you speak?
Do you remember this track from back in the day? Good stuff right here!!! Enjoy...
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
Last night, I came to the conclusion that boyfriends don't make very good girlfriends, and I'm sure men could argue the same about their girlfriends. Your girlfriend/boyfriend should be your best friend. However, there are times when a girl can't just go to her boyfriend with certain things. There are times a girlfriend needs a girlfriend. It's just like when guys want to go to the bar and watch the game with the guys. It's cool to bring your girlfriend to the bar to watch the game if she's into that sort of thing. But sometimes, it's best to be with the guys.
In my personal experience, i have learned that I'm better off with a pat on the back and an, "everything is going to be alright". There are few times when I actually need a pep talk. There are times when I'm stuck in a rut and the only thing that will help is a pint of ice cream and a good chick flick. Well, I made the horrible mistake of going to my boyfriend in this time of need. He wanted to fix it. He wanted so desperately to pull me out of that rut. He was trying everything he could think of to cheer me up. At the time, his efforts were just irritating and it amplified the situation. It was only the morning after that I realized (with the help of a girlfriend) that he was only trying to help. I was getting mad at him because he was only trying to help. Well, here's a message to the male reader: When your girl is stuck in a rut and wants to throw herself a pity party, let her! She knows it's not going to change the situation. She knows feeling sorry for herself won't make the world a better place. But all she needs is a little time and she will willingly climb out of said rut she was stuck in. Just quietly tell her to give it time and that things will get better, that's it.
Also, why is it that when a girl asks her boyfriend the infamous question, "what's wrong?" and the boyfriend's response is, "nothing", even though both parties are well aware of the fact that something is, indeed, wrong the girl is supposed to drop it and leave it at that? However, when a guy asks his girl said infamous question, and the girl says "nothing", the guy feels it necessary to continue to ask and pry until she comes out bursting with tears. Guys, look what you've done! You've made a mess. She was trying not to make a mess, and you made her make a mess! Why can't guys just drop the situation when the girls say "nothing"? I realize it can get tricky here because some girls like to play mind games. Some girls want you to pry and keep poking at it because, to them, it shows that you're concerned and that you care. That's bullshit on the girls part. Girls: stop playing games with your men. When you say "nothing", mean "nothing"! Interestingly, I know some men who do the same. I know some men who say "nothing" but really mean "something" but they don't want to elaborate. Or, when the guy responds with "don't worry about it" is my favorite. Don't worry about it, huh? I'm your girlfriend. It's my job to worry about it just as it's your job to try to make me feel better. That's what loved ones do.
We, as a couple, care about each other so much that sometimes it gets in the way. We want so badly to fix things, make things better, do whatever we can to ameliorate the situation. So, we do what we think is helpful. However, in the end, we end up doing more harm than good; we end up amplifying the situation, creating things that may not be there in the first place. What may start out as a simple venting session turns out to be a full blown out fight. We fight because one wants to help the other and the other just wants the one person to shut up. For me, less is better. Don't give me reason after reason after example after example. Sum it up in one, clean, concise sentence (maybe two if necessary). Say less and do more. Hug me, hold me, kiss me, play with my hair, give me a massage, rub my back...but in silence. Just SHOW me that things will get better, because I already know, in my head, that things will get better. I'm hardest on myself. I've already given myself a pep talk; I've already rationalized every aspect of the situation; I've turned every corner, so I don't need to hear it again. I just want to be shown that you care.
As humans, we are a complicated and complex species. Our ability to think, comprehend, and communicate the way we do is a blessing and a curse. Sometimes we forget to communicate making us over-think and lose all sense of comprehension causing all sorts of trouble to occur. So, let's do all of us a favor and make steps towards communicating better. Not only speak, but listen. If she says she does not want to talk about it, or if she wants to drop it, drop it. I'm not saying I'm some expert communicator myself, but I'm making efforts in doing better. This does not only pertain to people in an intimate relationship. This is relevant to all people in all sorts of relationship. Speak AND listen. You can't just speak with out listening, and it's not good to listen without speak. Find the balance.
What about you? Are you a good listener? Do you communicate well with others? Do you speak more than you listen? Do you listen more than you speak?
Do you remember this track from back in the day? Good stuff right here!!! Enjoy...
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
Monday, October 26, 2009
what your future holds....
Our future...
We, as humans plan for it from the moment we can comprehend what it is.The second that comprehension of "future" falls upon one's consciousness, our entire perspective of life changes. Every move made, and every decision finalized is derived from what we see our future to be.
As children, we were asked, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" We say astronauts and princesses. We want to be super stars, professional athletes, movie stars, and music moguls. As we grow older, the questions turn into "What High School do you want to go to?" "Where are you going for college?", "What's your major?", "what do you want to do when you graduate?", and the questions go on and on...
How much of our dreams of the future become reality? We grow up making sure we set ourselves up for a good future. "A good future" is up to an individuals interpretation. But in the world I grew up in, our parents tell us to do well in school so that we can get into a great college. We have college counselors telling us which classes to take and what grades we need to get in order to get into the best college we are able to get into. In college, counselors tell us the same. Get good grades, go towards this major, and you will get the job of your dreams. They make it seem so simple. They make it seem like if you do the steps properly, your dreams will fall into your lap.
But what they don't tell you is the unknown, they can't. There is no way of telling if the economy is going to plummet to the ground. There's no way of telling people that by the time they graduate, they will enter a world of high unemployment rates. These are the unknowns we have to learn to deal with in life.
As a child I said I wanted to be a dentist growing up. There was no way of knowing, at that time, that I would be terrible in the sciences. When I hit that realization, I turned my dream job of being a dentist into a marketing career. I studied a major that concentrated on communications and public relations in college. My last semester in college I did an internship that allowed me to do marketing for an urban marketing company that dealt with music, clothing, and events. Well, that is when I realized that perhaps the path I was on was not the path for me. So today, I find myself in the world of finance trying to get into the world of sports/training/fitness. The more I have learned, the more I have realized that what I set out to do may not be exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. So, my plan changes.
Some of us have a one year, five year, ten year ,etc plan. Some of us have the future planned out to a T. And some of us don't know what is in store for tomorrow. Life throws us curve balls causing us to alter or completely change our future plans. Sometimes life does not go the way we want it to go so we move and and try to adjust. But whatever it may be, we continue to plan. There are times where these curve balls hit us in the face because we are too stubborn to change, but eventually we give in because we realize that all avenues lead to a dead end. So, we must turn around and try again.
As humans, we want to know what is in our future. If you had the ability to see your future, would you want to? Why would you want to see your future anyway? Isn't the exciting part of life the unknown? I personally am fine not knowing the future. Sure, there are times where I think if I had seen the hindsight of the situation, I would have changed my actions, but then I wouldn't learn the lessons I learned; I would be a different person; I would not have that experience to help shape who I am today.
If you could see your future, would you want to change the present to change the outcome? If so, why? Part of learning is living, and part of living is learning. If you work to change the outcome, you miss out on the lessons. And, if you change the learning environment or situation, you miss out on living.
Our future isn't necessarily in our hands anyway. Yes, we make steps and we decide on things that help us towards the future. But, in the end, it's not our decision. HE holds our future in HIS hands. HE will present you with your future when HE feels we're ready. So, when the future comes, will you be ready?
Having future plans are good. It creates goals in life to live towards. It keeps you motivated. However, you have to remember that you can't get from A to Z without going through the other twenty four letters in between. It's good to hold your head up and look towards what is ahead of you, but if you don't look down and see where you're going you could trip and fall. So keep your future in mind and don't lose sight of the present, for it's the present that will take you to your future.
What do you think your future holds? What are you doing to help that? Would you want to see your future? Would you want to change it? Do you remember to live for today?
Well here's a little something to wet your musical pallet! Enjoy :)
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
We, as humans plan for it from the moment we can comprehend what it is.The second that comprehension of "future" falls upon one's consciousness, our entire perspective of life changes. Every move made, and every decision finalized is derived from what we see our future to be.
As children, we were asked, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" We say astronauts and princesses. We want to be super stars, professional athletes, movie stars, and music moguls. As we grow older, the questions turn into "What High School do you want to go to?" "Where are you going for college?", "What's your major?", "what do you want to do when you graduate?", and the questions go on and on...
How much of our dreams of the future become reality? We grow up making sure we set ourselves up for a good future. "A good future" is up to an individuals interpretation. But in the world I grew up in, our parents tell us to do well in school so that we can get into a great college. We have college counselors telling us which classes to take and what grades we need to get in order to get into the best college we are able to get into. In college, counselors tell us the same. Get good grades, go towards this major, and you will get the job of your dreams. They make it seem so simple. They make it seem like if you do the steps properly, your dreams will fall into your lap.
But what they don't tell you is the unknown, they can't. There is no way of telling if the economy is going to plummet to the ground. There's no way of telling people that by the time they graduate, they will enter a world of high unemployment rates. These are the unknowns we have to learn to deal with in life.
As a child I said I wanted to be a dentist growing up. There was no way of knowing, at that time, that I would be terrible in the sciences. When I hit that realization, I turned my dream job of being a dentist into a marketing career. I studied a major that concentrated on communications and public relations in college. My last semester in college I did an internship that allowed me to do marketing for an urban marketing company that dealt with music, clothing, and events. Well, that is when I realized that perhaps the path I was on was not the path for me. So today, I find myself in the world of finance trying to get into the world of sports/training/fitness. The more I have learned, the more I have realized that what I set out to do may not be exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. So, my plan changes.
Some of us have a one year, five year, ten year ,etc plan. Some of us have the future planned out to a T. And some of us don't know what is in store for tomorrow. Life throws us curve balls causing us to alter or completely change our future plans. Sometimes life does not go the way we want it to go so we move and and try to adjust. But whatever it may be, we continue to plan. There are times where these curve balls hit us in the face because we are too stubborn to change, but eventually we give in because we realize that all avenues lead to a dead end. So, we must turn around and try again.
As humans, we want to know what is in our future. If you had the ability to see your future, would you want to? Why would you want to see your future anyway? Isn't the exciting part of life the unknown? I personally am fine not knowing the future. Sure, there are times where I think if I had seen the hindsight of the situation, I would have changed my actions, but then I wouldn't learn the lessons I learned; I would be a different person; I would not have that experience to help shape who I am today.
If you could see your future, would you want to change the present to change the outcome? If so, why? Part of learning is living, and part of living is learning. If you work to change the outcome, you miss out on the lessons. And, if you change the learning environment or situation, you miss out on living.
Our future isn't necessarily in our hands anyway. Yes, we make steps and we decide on things that help us towards the future. But, in the end, it's not our decision. HE holds our future in HIS hands. HE will present you with your future when HE feels we're ready. So, when the future comes, will you be ready?
Having future plans are good. It creates goals in life to live towards. It keeps you motivated. However, you have to remember that you can't get from A to Z without going through the other twenty four letters in between. It's good to hold your head up and look towards what is ahead of you, but if you don't look down and see where you're going you could trip and fall. So keep your future in mind and don't lose sight of the present, for it's the present that will take you to your future.
What do you think your future holds? What are you doing to help that? Would you want to see your future? Would you want to change it? Do you remember to live for today?
Well here's a little something to wet your musical pallet! Enjoy :)
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
Friday, October 2, 2009
My One thought
So the past few days i've been able to post something intriguing and mind boggling. The past few days it has been something deep and meaningful. Well it's been a long and extremely rough week and it's Friday, so my brain is F-R-I-E-D. The only thought going through my head is this...
The end!
Thanks for listening
...until next time...
The end!
Thanks for listening
...until next time...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Emotions
Emotions are quite intriguing. Different people deal with their emotions in different ways. Different emotions make you say and do different things. They are multi-leveled, complex, ways to express how we feel and react towards one thing or another.
We humans are complex creatures. As complex beings, we deal with our emotions in complex ways. Some people over-think and try to anticipate another humans reaction and change his/her emotions accordingly. However in most cases, in efforts to be two steps ahead he/she usually ends up tripping all over themselves and end up five steps back.
Do you ever notice that when some people are sad, they turn their sadness into anger. I must admit, I do this sometimes. As a scorpio, I am a very emotional creature. Ironically enough, while I am full of all sorts of emotions, I try so desperately not to show them to their full extent. I refuse to keep myself completely wide open like that. However, in all my efforts of concealing my full emotions, the only place you need to look to know exactly how I feel is on my metaphorical sleeve. Yes, that's right ladies and gentleman, I, not so proudly, wear an emotional sleeve. It's right there, out in the open, for everyone to see. As much as I try to cover it up or camouflage it somehow, it always manages to pop right out. And, apparently I swear emotional glasses at times too because you can see exactly how I feel by just looking into my eyes...damnit! I've got nowhere to hide them!
So there are times where I am so overwhelmed with sadness and longing I don't know how to properly convey that. Sometimes I try to cover up that sadness and longing but fail and it turns into anger. This anger is the outlet that saves me from being hurt more; the anger is a wall protecting my, already, vulnerable self. I tend to try to find a scapegoat and blame my sadness and longing on someone and that blame usually turns into anger. Or, sometimes in extreme sadness and longing, I turn the other way and completely close myself off. It hurts less that way...sometimes...
Unlike most Scorps, I am very slow-tempered. It takes A LOT to anger me. Yes, I do get irritated, aggrivated, and perhaps a little pissed off, but rarely do I ever get angry. If you have angered me in the past, I probably haven't talked to you since then. I don't forgive easily once I have felt anger towards someone. Actually, I don't forgive at all; I tend to hold a grudge as a matter of fact. Now, that grudge thing I'm working on. That non-forgiveness thing is a work in progress. But just know, if I have cut off all connections with you, it's probably because you made me truly mad.
On the flipside, there is happiness. There are so many ways I feel happiness. There are so many levels to which happiness is felt. For me, in the most simplified manner, there is content, happiness, excitement, ecstatic, and completely and utterly overjoyed beyond words and thought. No matter where my true emotions are on that scale, I usually like to only convey happiness. My eyes will tell you different, but I try to keep things at happy. I don't know why, but I don't like to show too much excitement. Very few people see beyond "happiness". Those few have peeled away my layers and have been able to see my full emotions.
Unlike myself, I know people who keep themselves wide open. You can read their emotions like a book. They hold nothing back. I think that's a little extreme and a bit overwhelming for anyone around that individual. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with another's emotions. It's bad enough you have to figure out you're own let alone deal with someone else's.
On the opposite end of the spectrum you've got those individuals who hardly show any emotions if any at all. They close themselves up; their emotions are in a safe where only they know the combination. I don't know that this is all that productive as well. How do others know how that person is feeling? We use emotions and reactions to judge other's personalities. How do you tell a person's personality if their emotions are under a few deadbolts and a lock and key?
Emotions are sometimes equated to vulnerability and/or exposure. Some people don't mind the exposure and others would rather stay locked up in a room/house than show their true emotions. I'd like to think I'm somewhere in the middle. There are times where I show too many emotions and tend to exhaust those around me. Then, there are times where I close myself up making it difficult to know how I've reacted to certain situations. I am learning to find a happy medium.
Some people are afraid to show their true emotions because they are afraid of what they may say or do. Some people say awful things when they are angry. They may not mean it, but they said it. I am a strong believer that if anyone says anything, even if it slips out, it hold some sort of truth because it would not have come out if it was not a thought in that person's head at one point in time. You may not mean what you said, but you must have thought it once or twice.
There are also those who are afraid to show their true feelings because they may be afraid of rejection. Some people will never tell the person they love that they love them for fear that the recipient may not love the sender back. And the rejection is too harmful for some and they would rather keep their true emotions to themselves than have to deal with rejections.
Some people express their emotions in actions. For example, I know many people who run when they're angry or stressed. It's a healthy, non-vulnerable outlet for those emotions. I know people who drink or do drugs to help them deal with their emotions. It's not so healthy, and perhaps not the smartest option, but to each his own.
With all that said, how do you deal with your emotions? Is it in a helpful way? or is it more harmful? Or, do you deal with your emotions at all? Why do you deal with your emotions they way you do, if at all? Are your emotions helping others around? Or, do they harm others around you?
Well, here is your musical connection of the day... enjoy :)
I was going to use Destiny's Child... but I thought I'd give you the originals...Oh the BeeGees
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
We humans are complex creatures. As complex beings, we deal with our emotions in complex ways. Some people over-think and try to anticipate another humans reaction and change his/her emotions accordingly. However in most cases, in efforts to be two steps ahead he/she usually ends up tripping all over themselves and end up five steps back.
Do you ever notice that when some people are sad, they turn their sadness into anger. I must admit, I do this sometimes. As a scorpio, I am a very emotional creature. Ironically enough, while I am full of all sorts of emotions, I try so desperately not to show them to their full extent. I refuse to keep myself completely wide open like that. However, in all my efforts of concealing my full emotions, the only place you need to look to know exactly how I feel is on my metaphorical sleeve. Yes, that's right ladies and gentleman, I, not so proudly, wear an emotional sleeve. It's right there, out in the open, for everyone to see. As much as I try to cover it up or camouflage it somehow, it always manages to pop right out. And, apparently I swear emotional glasses at times too because you can see exactly how I feel by just looking into my eyes...damnit! I've got nowhere to hide them!
So there are times where I am so overwhelmed with sadness and longing I don't know how to properly convey that. Sometimes I try to cover up that sadness and longing but fail and it turns into anger. This anger is the outlet that saves me from being hurt more; the anger is a wall protecting my, already, vulnerable self. I tend to try to find a scapegoat and blame my sadness and longing on someone and that blame usually turns into anger. Or, sometimes in extreme sadness and longing, I turn the other way and completely close myself off. It hurts less that way...sometimes...
Unlike most Scorps, I am very slow-tempered. It takes A LOT to anger me. Yes, I do get irritated, aggrivated, and perhaps a little pissed off, but rarely do I ever get angry. If you have angered me in the past, I probably haven't talked to you since then. I don't forgive easily once I have felt anger towards someone. Actually, I don't forgive at all; I tend to hold a grudge as a matter of fact. Now, that grudge thing I'm working on. That non-forgiveness thing is a work in progress. But just know, if I have cut off all connections with you, it's probably because you made me truly mad.
On the flipside, there is happiness. There are so many ways I feel happiness. There are so many levels to which happiness is felt. For me, in the most simplified manner, there is content, happiness, excitement, ecstatic, and completely and utterly overjoyed beyond words and thought. No matter where my true emotions are on that scale, I usually like to only convey happiness. My eyes will tell you different, but I try to keep things at happy. I don't know why, but I don't like to show too much excitement. Very few people see beyond "happiness". Those few have peeled away my layers and have been able to see my full emotions.
Unlike myself, I know people who keep themselves wide open. You can read their emotions like a book. They hold nothing back. I think that's a little extreme and a bit overwhelming for anyone around that individual. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with another's emotions. It's bad enough you have to figure out you're own let alone deal with someone else's.
On the opposite end of the spectrum you've got those individuals who hardly show any emotions if any at all. They close themselves up; their emotions are in a safe where only they know the combination. I don't know that this is all that productive as well. How do others know how that person is feeling? We use emotions and reactions to judge other's personalities. How do you tell a person's personality if their emotions are under a few deadbolts and a lock and key?
Emotions are sometimes equated to vulnerability and/or exposure. Some people don't mind the exposure and others would rather stay locked up in a room/house than show their true emotions. I'd like to think I'm somewhere in the middle. There are times where I show too many emotions and tend to exhaust those around me. Then, there are times where I close myself up making it difficult to know how I've reacted to certain situations. I am learning to find a happy medium.
Some people are afraid to show their true emotions because they are afraid of what they may say or do. Some people say awful things when they are angry. They may not mean it, but they said it. I am a strong believer that if anyone says anything, even if it slips out, it hold some sort of truth because it would not have come out if it was not a thought in that person's head at one point in time. You may not mean what you said, but you must have thought it once or twice.
There are also those who are afraid to show their true feelings because they may be afraid of rejection. Some people will never tell the person they love that they love them for fear that the recipient may not love the sender back. And the rejection is too harmful for some and they would rather keep their true emotions to themselves than have to deal with rejections.
Some people express their emotions in actions. For example, I know many people who run when they're angry or stressed. It's a healthy, non-vulnerable outlet for those emotions. I know people who drink or do drugs to help them deal with their emotions. It's not so healthy, and perhaps not the smartest option, but to each his own.
With all that said, how do you deal with your emotions? Is it in a helpful way? or is it more harmful? Or, do you deal with your emotions at all? Why do you deal with your emotions they way you do, if at all? Are your emotions helping others around? Or, do they harm others around you?
Well, here is your musical connection of the day... enjoy :)
I was going to use Destiny's Child... but I thought I'd give you the originals...Oh the BeeGees
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number
The other day, I was talking to a girlfriend of mine and she was venting about how her friend keeps asking her to go out on a week-nights. She said she couldn't because she has to get up at 5am to go to work. Her friend then proceeded to call her boring. How old do you think my girlfriend is?
I have another story for you. I have another friend who asked if I wanted to go to Happy Hour on Thursday a few weeks ago. I had to decline because I have a hard time being able to go out on the weekends let alone the weekdays. Well this other friend of mine is a strong believer in Thirsty Thursdays and Sunday Fun-Days. How old do you think he is?
Well the first story my girlfriend is 21, and in the second story my friend is 30.
Then, you take myself as an example. I am a single-mother who was married and now going through a divorce. How old do you think I am? Without knowing me and just knowing those facts about me, many would think I am at least in my thirties. Wrong! I will be twenty-five next month. Because of my situation and my circumstances I have had to grow up a lot faster than my other friends. They worry still worry about where they are going to go out or which party to go to while I worry about how I'm going to pay for preschool, and how I need to save up for new clothes for my continuously growing son.
I find it so interesting how we put so much emphasis on age as we grow up. There are so many sayings such as, "act your age, not your shoe size". What defines age anyway? In the opening examples you've got a 21 year old acting more mature than the 30 year old. She recognizes the fact that she can't go out because she has to get up and go to work in the morning. As for my other friend, he still actively practices what college students practice.
Society is telling us that how old you are is so important. You've got magazines telling women that 40 is the new 20 and television shows to back up that ideal such as "Cougar Town". If you are forty years old, why do you want to act like a twenty year old? In service one Sunday, Pastor Jim said something that stuck with me. He said something to the extent of, "It is important to hold on to your childlike qualities. But at some point, we need to grow up and stop acting like a child." There is a huge difference between being childlike, and being childish.
Today's youth is growing up faster than the youth did just one decade ago because they are being exposed to certain things that I wasn't exposed to until I was in high school. There are anti-age creams and gels and this and that. Ironically, there are times when the people who use that STILL look older than the ones that are au natuale. There are things like botox and plastic surgery that helps you "preserve your age". What the heck does that mean!?!
All of this leads me to believe that age is nothing but a number. Maturity, clearly, knows no age as depicted in the early examples. I am also a strong believer of love knows no age. My boyfriend is nearly seven years older than me. Another one of my girlfriends is married to someone who is eight years older than her. And I have another girlfriend who is dating someone who is thirteen years older than her. Although my boyfriend and I joke a lot about the difference in our age, it doesn't change the fact that we are madly and deeply in love with each other. There are couples out there whose age difference is a lot greater than mine and they are madly and deeply in love with each other as well.
There are men with women who are old enough to be that woman's father, and even grandfather. There are women with men who could be that man's mother, or even grandmother. I must admit, I think it to be a bit odd for people to have significant others young enough to be their own children. But, I think it to be odd because society says it is odd.
Now, there is a line that is drawn in this ideal. This ideal only works with adults. It is wrong, odd, and most of all, illegal when minors are involved. For example, it is wrong when a sixteen year old has real, intimate relations with someone who is twenty-six years old. Yes, the difference is only ten years, but it is illegal!
We spend our lives trying to define age and define how old we are. When you want to get to know someone, sure, how old they are is important if large age gaps are important to you. However, what you really should ask yourself is "how mature is this person?" or "how old does this person act?" because what's the use dating someone your age is he/she acts like a child?
With all that said, I'm throwing some old school your way... RIP Aaliyah
Thanks for Listening!
...until next time...
I have another story for you. I have another friend who asked if I wanted to go to Happy Hour on Thursday a few weeks ago. I had to decline because I have a hard time being able to go out on the weekends let alone the weekdays. Well this other friend of mine is a strong believer in Thirsty Thursdays and Sunday Fun-Days. How old do you think he is?
Well the first story my girlfriend is 21, and in the second story my friend is 30.
Then, you take myself as an example. I am a single-mother who was married and now going through a divorce. How old do you think I am? Without knowing me and just knowing those facts about me, many would think I am at least in my thirties. Wrong! I will be twenty-five next month. Because of my situation and my circumstances I have had to grow up a lot faster than my other friends. They worry still worry about where they are going to go out or which party to go to while I worry about how I'm going to pay for preschool, and how I need to save up for new clothes for my continuously growing son.
I find it so interesting how we put so much emphasis on age as we grow up. There are so many sayings such as, "act your age, not your shoe size". What defines age anyway? In the opening examples you've got a 21 year old acting more mature than the 30 year old. She recognizes the fact that she can't go out because she has to get up and go to work in the morning. As for my other friend, he still actively practices what college students practice.
Society is telling us that how old you are is so important. You've got magazines telling women that 40 is the new 20 and television shows to back up that ideal such as "Cougar Town". If you are forty years old, why do you want to act like a twenty year old? In service one Sunday, Pastor Jim said something that stuck with me. He said something to the extent of, "It is important to hold on to your childlike qualities. But at some point, we need to grow up and stop acting like a child." There is a huge difference between being childlike, and being childish.
Today's youth is growing up faster than the youth did just one decade ago because they are being exposed to certain things that I wasn't exposed to until I was in high school. There are anti-age creams and gels and this and that. Ironically, there are times when the people who use that STILL look older than the ones that are au natuale. There are things like botox and plastic surgery that helps you "preserve your age". What the heck does that mean!?!
All of this leads me to believe that age is nothing but a number. Maturity, clearly, knows no age as depicted in the early examples. I am also a strong believer of love knows no age. My boyfriend is nearly seven years older than me. Another one of my girlfriends is married to someone who is eight years older than her. And I have another girlfriend who is dating someone who is thirteen years older than her. Although my boyfriend and I joke a lot about the difference in our age, it doesn't change the fact that we are madly and deeply in love with each other. There are couples out there whose age difference is a lot greater than mine and they are madly and deeply in love with each other as well.
There are men with women who are old enough to be that woman's father, and even grandfather. There are women with men who could be that man's mother, or even grandmother. I must admit, I think it to be a bit odd for people to have significant others young enough to be their own children. But, I think it to be odd because society says it is odd.
Now, there is a line that is drawn in this ideal. This ideal only works with adults. It is wrong, odd, and most of all, illegal when minors are involved. For example, it is wrong when a sixteen year old has real, intimate relations with someone who is twenty-six years old. Yes, the difference is only ten years, but it is illegal!
We spend our lives trying to define age and define how old we are. When you want to get to know someone, sure, how old they are is important if large age gaps are important to you. However, what you really should ask yourself is "how mature is this person?" or "how old does this person act?" because what's the use dating someone your age is he/she acts like a child?
With all that said, I'm throwing some old school your way... RIP Aaliyah
Thanks for Listening!
...until next time...
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Light
Today, I was thinking about the concept of "light". There are so many different ways one interprets "the light". When you look up the word "light" the dictionary gives you all sorts of different definitions that is summed up as an illumination or an awareness when used as a noun, bright and luminescent when used as an adjective, and to ignite or start a fire when used as a verb. When i contemplated the idea of light further and further throughout the day, the idea became more and more complex. Light has a very popular positive connotation. However, the light can be seen in a negative manner as well.
On one hand, light can be seen as a sign of hope when used in the well known phrase "I can see the light at the end of the tunnel". It's used in a positive way as the light is used to brighten the darkness. Or you will also hear people say, "you are the light of my life" to describe how a person brings light to the dark life or perhaps brightens an already happy person's life or day.
Generally speaking I see a positive type of light in two basic ways. One is the light such as moonlight. The light of the moon shines gloriously upon the dark canvas that is night. It sheds light on places where there is no light creating such emphasis on how powerful a spot of light can be in dark places. And on the other hand there is the light that is like daylight. Daylight brightens what is already a lit day. The sun's rays amplify the day making it a brighter day.
In opposition, there are negative connotations of light. For example, when people express the phrase, "don't follow the light" as if the "light" signifies one's death. Now I understand that's a debatable point seeing as though those with terminal illnesses and such may want to go towards the light to alleviate their pain. But, generally speaking, a healthy person would tell another healthy person to "stay away from the light". Or another negative is if you are ever to be interrogated. I personally have never gone through this. I just see this on tv and in movies. The infamous interrogation light. This light is shoved in your face to get you "to talk", so to speak. It is supposed to get your nerves going and make you sweat.
What does one make of the light that is spotlight? Some people enjoy being in the spotlight, and some people don't enjoy the spotlight in the least. Some people commit a crime and run from the spotlight of "ghetto birds" (if you don't know what i'm talking about, ask someone...). However, if you're on a performance stage, you seek the spotlight; you earn the right to be in the spotlight; to be highlighted in a performance setting.
One of the definitions of light in the verb form is to ignite, like fire. Yesterday, my pastor spoke of fire in two different manners. Fire can keep you warm, or it can burn you if you get too close. Is that the same as the light? Is your light keeping you warm? Or is it burning you?
Kids go to sleep with a nightlight. Is the light really that comforting? What is it about the light that makes things so comforting? Do you ever wonder that? Or, perhaps it has nothing to do with the light. Perhaps the question is, what is it about the dark that makes it so frightening? Well, personally I'm not a fan of the dark. But more so than anything, I'm not a fan of shadows in the night. What causes shadows... well an object interfering with the path of the light. If there is no light, there is no shadow.
I prefer the light over the dark. I seek light in a dark situation. The moonlight has a greater impact on me than the sunlight. I search for the light in people. I understand that all of us as humans have some darkness in us, but I look for the light to shine through in people's personalities, in their eyes, and in their souls.
Ironically, with all that said, light is necessary to us as human beings. Sunlight is necessary for plants to grow and therefore the light is necessary for us when it comes to food.The sunlight also provides vitamins our body needs to function properly as well. The light is necessary for us to see colors. No colors exist if there is an absence of light. The light enables us to see objects and to see one another. For those who are capable of reading this, consider yourself blessed because there are those who cannot see to read this, and therefore cannot see the light. Light direct us. It tells us when to go and stop. Light gives us a heads up and a warning when flashing. Light can be an indication of life.
With all this said, I'm going to leave you with this...one of my most favorite songs of all time...
What does light mean to you? Do you have someone who is the light of your life? What purposes does light serve you? Do you have a love for the light, or is it the fear of darkness? Could you imagine your life without it?
Thanks for listening!
...until next time... :)
On one hand, light can be seen as a sign of hope when used in the well known phrase "I can see the light at the end of the tunnel". It's used in a positive way as the light is used to brighten the darkness. Or you will also hear people say, "you are the light of my life" to describe how a person brings light to the dark life or perhaps brightens an already happy person's life or day.
Generally speaking I see a positive type of light in two basic ways. One is the light such as moonlight. The light of the moon shines gloriously upon the dark canvas that is night. It sheds light on places where there is no light creating such emphasis on how powerful a spot of light can be in dark places. And on the other hand there is the light that is like daylight. Daylight brightens what is already a lit day. The sun's rays amplify the day making it a brighter day.
In opposition, there are negative connotations of light. For example, when people express the phrase, "don't follow the light" as if the "light" signifies one's death. Now I understand that's a debatable point seeing as though those with terminal illnesses and such may want to go towards the light to alleviate their pain. But, generally speaking, a healthy person would tell another healthy person to "stay away from the light". Or another negative is if you are ever to be interrogated. I personally have never gone through this. I just see this on tv and in movies. The infamous interrogation light. This light is shoved in your face to get you "to talk", so to speak. It is supposed to get your nerves going and make you sweat.
What does one make of the light that is spotlight? Some people enjoy being in the spotlight, and some people don't enjoy the spotlight in the least. Some people commit a crime and run from the spotlight of "ghetto birds" (if you don't know what i'm talking about, ask someone...). However, if you're on a performance stage, you seek the spotlight; you earn the right to be in the spotlight; to be highlighted in a performance setting.
One of the definitions of light in the verb form is to ignite, like fire. Yesterday, my pastor spoke of fire in two different manners. Fire can keep you warm, or it can burn you if you get too close. Is that the same as the light? Is your light keeping you warm? Or is it burning you?
Kids go to sleep with a nightlight. Is the light really that comforting? What is it about the light that makes things so comforting? Do you ever wonder that? Or, perhaps it has nothing to do with the light. Perhaps the question is, what is it about the dark that makes it so frightening? Well, personally I'm not a fan of the dark. But more so than anything, I'm not a fan of shadows in the night. What causes shadows... well an object interfering with the path of the light. If there is no light, there is no shadow.
I prefer the light over the dark. I seek light in a dark situation. The moonlight has a greater impact on me than the sunlight. I search for the light in people. I understand that all of us as humans have some darkness in us, but I look for the light to shine through in people's personalities, in their eyes, and in their souls.
Ironically, with all that said, light is necessary to us as human beings. Sunlight is necessary for plants to grow and therefore the light is necessary for us when it comes to food.The sunlight also provides vitamins our body needs to function properly as well. The light is necessary for us to see colors. No colors exist if there is an absence of light. The light enables us to see objects and to see one another. For those who are capable of reading this, consider yourself blessed because there are those who cannot see to read this, and therefore cannot see the light. Light direct us. It tells us when to go and stop. Light gives us a heads up and a warning when flashing. Light can be an indication of life.
With all this said, I'm going to leave you with this...one of my most favorite songs of all time...
What does light mean to you? Do you have someone who is the light of your life? What purposes does light serve you? Do you have a love for the light, or is it the fear of darkness? Could you imagine your life without it?
Thanks for listening!
...until next time... :)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Take 2
Ok, so i realize i really suck at life when it comes to this blogging thing. At first, I tried doing it at work. Clearly that didn't work. I was occupied with more important things like TFLN, FML, and Bejewled. But now I have my own computer at home, so we're going to attempt to write at night before I pass out at night. I'm really going to try, but GOD knows there are times where I knock out and there is no use in reviving me until the morning. But, i figure it's really good for me to write because I'm returning to that point where thoughts constantly run through my head and there is not a single outlet for them to escape. So, they continuously bounce around in my skull taking a number for priority. So, this will be like my public journal in hopes to relieve some "thought-overload" in my brain.
Here we go with this evening's thoughts...
Do you ever wonder WHY certain people are brought in your life? I strongly believe that GOD puts people in your life to serve a particular purposes. HE places these people in our lives to help us fulfill HIS purpose; to guide us on the path HE wants us to live. There are two types of people. There are those people GOD puts in your life to help you learn a lesson, or come to some sort of realization, or just to help you grow to a certain point. However, once that person has fulfilled GOD's purpose he/she tends to simply fall of the map. Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, you've got the people GOD strategically places in your life and intends for them to stay a lifetime. The first type of people I will so creatively label as the temps, and the later will be the permanies.
As I grow up and get older (woo hoo 25 soon!!), I have come to realize and recognize that there are these two types of people in my life. This was a hard realization to come to. I grew up with, essentially, the same core group of people my entire early childhood. I attended the same school from Pre-Kindergarten all the way through 12th grade. Yes, I attended the same school for 13 (I skipped a grade) years! That means I was with the same people for most of my early childhood. Sure, there were those kids who joined the class in middle and high school. And, yes, there were those kids who left somewhere in the middle too. So clearly those kids were temps. However, for the most part, I've grown up around the same people for the majority of my life. With all of that explained, I had it in my head that those closest to me then will ALWAYS be close to me. And, why not? We grew up together!
Then, I've got my friends from college. I only knew them for four years of my life. We were all from different parts of the country to begin with. I have always heard stories of people who meet their bestest (yes, i realize that's not a real word) friends in the entire world in college, but I never understood how. I mean, I only know these people for four years compared to the people I've known for 8-12+ years. There's no way that these college friends could be permanies. I've got all the permanies i need from high school, right?!?
When you continue past college, you've got those people you meet in the workplace. This is where things get a little tricky because it depends on how long you've been at one particular job. But, even still, permanies are present here too.
I say all of this as kind of a background of how I thought that was how the world worked. But, as I grow older, I realize that even the people I grew up with can be temps, and those from college and the workplace can be permanies. It doesn't really matter how long you've known someone or how you've grown up together. What really matters is how you are growing up as individuals and if your growth as individuals coincide with each other. For example, i'm finding that some friends I've had as a kid all throughout high school may not really be as close anymore because of the rate we are maturing and growing. As a mother I find myself growing up a lot faster than most 24, 25 year olds. Most people I know that are around my age don't have a kid to worry about therefore our mentalities are completely different; our priorities are completely opposite. Therefore, it's really hard to contribute to each other's growth, and it's extremely difficult to conicide in each other's individuals growth when you two are on completely different levels to begin with.
I am also finding that I continue to stay close to some of my college friends even though we are so far apart. Now, I can't say that any of them are moms but it just seems like they understand what I'm going through a little bit better. Perhaps it's because we went through similar problems as adults in college. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it just seems that the way we are growing individually follow a similar path. My friends from my childhood have all grown up too, but it seems like our paths have diverted and looks to be heading in different directions as if we hit a huge fork in the road and I went left while the other went right.
Lastly, you've got the people from the workplace. I have realized that most of my 'friends' in the workplace are my 'friends' because of proximity. We go to work everyday for five days a week. It's hard not to be friendly towards some of the people you work with. After being there for a while, you tend to connect to a certain group of people you consider your friends. However, you realize they are temps when one of you leave the company for whatever reason and fall out after a little while. You will call and email frequently soon after the departure from the company. But, the calls and the emails become less and less frequent and the next thing you know you're just keeping up with them by looking at their status on facebook.
Now all of this comes to me this evening because I constantly wonder WHY someone is put in my life. I ask what their purpose is in my life; is he/she a temp or a permany? I also think of this because I was looking at my high school year book a few weeks back and see the groups of friends back then and how many people still actually speak to each other seven years later. I find that some of the people I couldn't live without back in the day are the same people I'm keeping up with by reading their status on facebook. I find it very interesting to see who comes in my life and who departs from my life. I try to figure out what I have learned from the different temps in my life. I try to think of how the temps have changed my life, what lesson did I learn from them directly or what lesson I have learned from having some sort of relations with them. Then I look at the potential permanies and think about the possible lessons I can learn from them, what piece of wisdom can i acquire from knowing them, etc.
There could be a number of reasons why potential permanies turn out to be temps in your life. Only HE knows the true path of your relationships with others. Although the temps may exit, I don't like to completely cease relations with them. I choose not to completely burn bridges with some people. There are those temps who need to be cut off because they didn't really help with my growth. They may have taught me an important lesson in life, but it may have been due to the mistakes I have made throughout our relationship. Temps who could hinder my growth and harm me are those I cut off completely. But for most temps, I choose not to burn our bridge.
I think of it as you never know when you may need them again later. You don't know if they're really a temp or if there a permany taking a vacation. You would want to keep that relationship just in case you need to turn to someone. You'd be surprised to see which individuals re-enter your life and serve a greater purpose than you could have ever imagined. You never know, the person who may have your back at the end of the day may be the person you least expected.
Who do you think your temps and permanies are? What lessons have you learned from your temps? What do you anticipate learning from your permanies? Who are you a permany/temp to? How do you impact other's lives? Do you like how you've impacted/how you impact others? If not, then a self re-evaluation is in store :)
Thanks for listening!
Until next time.......
Here we go with this evening's thoughts...
Do you ever wonder WHY certain people are brought in your life? I strongly believe that GOD puts people in your life to serve a particular purposes. HE places these people in our lives to help us fulfill HIS purpose; to guide us on the path HE wants us to live. There are two types of people. There are those people GOD puts in your life to help you learn a lesson, or come to some sort of realization, or just to help you grow to a certain point. However, once that person has fulfilled GOD's purpose he/she tends to simply fall of the map. Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, you've got the people GOD strategically places in your life and intends for them to stay a lifetime. The first type of people I will so creatively label as the temps, and the later will be the permanies.
As I grow up and get older (woo hoo 25 soon!!), I have come to realize and recognize that there are these two types of people in my life. This was a hard realization to come to. I grew up with, essentially, the same core group of people my entire early childhood. I attended the same school from Pre-Kindergarten all the way through 12th grade. Yes, I attended the same school for 13 (I skipped a grade) years! That means I was with the same people for most of my early childhood. Sure, there were those kids who joined the class in middle and high school. And, yes, there were those kids who left somewhere in the middle too. So clearly those kids were temps. However, for the most part, I've grown up around the same people for the majority of my life. With all of that explained, I had it in my head that those closest to me then will ALWAYS be close to me. And, why not? We grew up together!
Then, I've got my friends from college. I only knew them for four years of my life. We were all from different parts of the country to begin with. I have always heard stories of people who meet their bestest (yes, i realize that's not a real word) friends in the entire world in college, but I never understood how. I mean, I only know these people for four years compared to the people I've known for 8-12+ years. There's no way that these college friends could be permanies. I've got all the permanies i need from high school, right?!?
When you continue past college, you've got those people you meet in the workplace. This is where things get a little tricky because it depends on how long you've been at one particular job. But, even still, permanies are present here too.
I say all of this as kind of a background of how I thought that was how the world worked. But, as I grow older, I realize that even the people I grew up with can be temps, and those from college and the workplace can be permanies. It doesn't really matter how long you've known someone or how you've grown up together. What really matters is how you are growing up as individuals and if your growth as individuals coincide with each other. For example, i'm finding that some friends I've had as a kid all throughout high school may not really be as close anymore because of the rate we are maturing and growing. As a mother I find myself growing up a lot faster than most 24, 25 year olds. Most people I know that are around my age don't have a kid to worry about therefore our mentalities are completely different; our priorities are completely opposite. Therefore, it's really hard to contribute to each other's growth, and it's extremely difficult to conicide in each other's individuals growth when you two are on completely different levels to begin with.
I am also finding that I continue to stay close to some of my college friends even though we are so far apart. Now, I can't say that any of them are moms but it just seems like they understand what I'm going through a little bit better. Perhaps it's because we went through similar problems as adults in college. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it just seems that the way we are growing individually follow a similar path. My friends from my childhood have all grown up too, but it seems like our paths have diverted and looks to be heading in different directions as if we hit a huge fork in the road and I went left while the other went right.
Lastly, you've got the people from the workplace. I have realized that most of my 'friends' in the workplace are my 'friends' because of proximity. We go to work everyday for five days a week. It's hard not to be friendly towards some of the people you work with. After being there for a while, you tend to connect to a certain group of people you consider your friends. However, you realize they are temps when one of you leave the company for whatever reason and fall out after a little while. You will call and email frequently soon after the departure from the company. But, the calls and the emails become less and less frequent and the next thing you know you're just keeping up with them by looking at their status on facebook.
Now all of this comes to me this evening because I constantly wonder WHY someone is put in my life. I ask what their purpose is in my life; is he/she a temp or a permany? I also think of this because I was looking at my high school year book a few weeks back and see the groups of friends back then and how many people still actually speak to each other seven years later. I find that some of the people I couldn't live without back in the day are the same people I'm keeping up with by reading their status on facebook. I find it very interesting to see who comes in my life and who departs from my life. I try to figure out what I have learned from the different temps in my life. I try to think of how the temps have changed my life, what lesson did I learn from them directly or what lesson I have learned from having some sort of relations with them. Then I look at the potential permanies and think about the possible lessons I can learn from them, what piece of wisdom can i acquire from knowing them, etc.
There could be a number of reasons why potential permanies turn out to be temps in your life. Only HE knows the true path of your relationships with others. Although the temps may exit, I don't like to completely cease relations with them. I choose not to completely burn bridges with some people. There are those temps who need to be cut off because they didn't really help with my growth. They may have taught me an important lesson in life, but it may have been due to the mistakes I have made throughout our relationship. Temps who could hinder my growth and harm me are those I cut off completely. But for most temps, I choose not to burn our bridge.
I think of it as you never know when you may need them again later. You don't know if they're really a temp or if there a permany taking a vacation. You would want to keep that relationship just in case you need to turn to someone. You'd be surprised to see which individuals re-enter your life and serve a greater purpose than you could have ever imagined. You never know, the person who may have your back at the end of the day may be the person you least expected.
Who do you think your temps and permanies are? What lessons have you learned from your temps? What do you anticipate learning from your permanies? Who are you a permany/temp to? How do you impact other's lives? Do you like how you've impacted/how you impact others? If not, then a self re-evaluation is in store :)
Thanks for listening!
Until next time.......
Monday, March 9, 2009
New Look for the New Year
So, I know I've been failing at life when it comes to blogging. I'm really going to try to get better at blogging more often. I feel like this blog is more of a "food for thought" sort of place. I want you to think... maybe not too hard... but to think. This is a place for me to lay out my thoughts and reflect on certain aspects and issues of life. So sit back and enjoy as I try to reflect a little more often.
So the last time I wrote was five months ago to the day. Crazy huh!? A lot has happened in the last five months. Generally speaking, I've experienced happiness in ways I haven't felt since TJ was born, I have grown, seen a new light on life, and increased my faith in the BIG MAN Himself.
In my last posting I had mentioned a new friend that had got me writing again. Ironically enough, he became part of the reason why I haven't written in a while. I, one, don't have as much time anymore, and two, I end up chatting with him all day rather than writing here. However, he is also the reason why I've experienced so much happiness. He has accepted me for who and what I am. He sees me in ways I don't see myself. He loves me and my son with all of his heart. The thought of him makes me smile first thing in the mornings, and his voice eases my soul every evening. He brings me joy to my everyday. Our relationship has grown in ways that we never though imaginable. It all started out with a simple comment about his hat, and now look at us. These last five months have been a pure joy and whole-hearted happiness and for him I am ever grateful!
The last five months have also brought about a lot of growth. I have grown as a mother, as a sister, as a daughter, as a friend, and as a lover. As a mother in my situation, I have learned that I need to step up my game. I have learned that I should not rely so much on the resources I have just because they are there. I have learned that I am young in years, but I have to be older in experience. I have learned that I am not the average 24 year old. I have way more responsibilities and obligations and I have learned that I need to recognize and embrace these.
As a sister, I have learned that it's not always my business. Don't get me wrong, my sister and I are best friends! But there are things that she has other friends to go to for. She will not always come to me. But we haven't gone out just the two of us in forever, and I'm hoping that will change shortly. As for being a daughter. It's been a tough five months between me and my parents. We don't see eye to eye about a number of things. They are more conventional and I am more liberal. They were raised in a traditional Philippine way, and I was raised first generation in the states. We are different just because of that. But, it has come to the point where we disagree more and more. I feel like they know I'm older, but they treat me like I'm still a teen. So because of this, we butt heads all the time. But I suppose that's expected when you're an adult living under your parents' roof.
Friends are people who come into your life, make and impact, and either leave or continue to make an impact on your life. I have accepted the idea that there are friends who come and go. There are friends who are only friends due to proximity and situation. There are friends who are friends of your friends and that's the only reason they are your friends. I have learned that I can't hold on to ALL of the friends I have made. I have learned to appreciate those who stay and continue to impact my life.
In the past five months, I have redefined the meaning of a relationship. Previously, I have been able to get away with "Relationship: n. the joining of two people who share feelings for each other and do things the 'Katrina' way". My current relationship is forcing me to change this definition for the better. It is allowing me to grow up and realize that real relationships strive on the three C's: caring, communication, and compromise. One must truly care about the other's feelings and reactions to your actions and words. Outstanding communication is necessary to fully learn your significant other's feelings and reactions. And compromise is vital in order to make relationships work. I can't always have my way...although I sometimes think I can. I have learned that when one communicates, I actually listen and act rather than just hearing the words that they are saying.
As for the last two, they are somewhat intertwined. The serenity prayer has allowed me to get through a lot of hardships the past few months. For those of you who aren't familiar, it reads "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". It allows me to recognize the things I can and cannot change and from there I work on the things I can change and let go of the things I cannot change. It's therapuedic really. This has allowed me to see life in a new light. HE has allowed me to see life in a new light. I try to burden myself less and put it in HIS hands instead. I believe that everything happens for a reason; HIS reason. I believe that he has blessed me in more ways than I am aware of. I have learned to recognize my blessings when things look bleak. This, then, allows me to shine HIS light on others in their dark moments as well.
Some of you find all of this interesting, while others may find it boring and that's ok. This is simply a space for me to lay down my thoughts and reflect. It is up to you to share this space with me. Enjoy! And, until next time.....
So the last time I wrote was five months ago to the day. Crazy huh!? A lot has happened in the last five months. Generally speaking, I've experienced happiness in ways I haven't felt since TJ was born, I have grown, seen a new light on life, and increased my faith in the BIG MAN Himself.
In my last posting I had mentioned a new friend that had got me writing again. Ironically enough, he became part of the reason why I haven't written in a while. I, one, don't have as much time anymore, and two, I end up chatting with him all day rather than writing here. However, he is also the reason why I've experienced so much happiness. He has accepted me for who and what I am. He sees me in ways I don't see myself. He loves me and my son with all of his heart. The thought of him makes me smile first thing in the mornings, and his voice eases my soul every evening. He brings me joy to my everyday. Our relationship has grown in ways that we never though imaginable. It all started out with a simple comment about his hat, and now look at us. These last five months have been a pure joy and whole-hearted happiness and for him I am ever grateful!
The last five months have also brought about a lot of growth. I have grown as a mother, as a sister, as a daughter, as a friend, and as a lover. As a mother in my situation, I have learned that I need to step up my game. I have learned that I should not rely so much on the resources I have just because they are there. I have learned that I am young in years, but I have to be older in experience. I have learned that I am not the average 24 year old. I have way more responsibilities and obligations and I have learned that I need to recognize and embrace these.
As a sister, I have learned that it's not always my business. Don't get me wrong, my sister and I are best friends! But there are things that she has other friends to go to for. She will not always come to me. But we haven't gone out just the two of us in forever, and I'm hoping that will change shortly. As for being a daughter. It's been a tough five months between me and my parents. We don't see eye to eye about a number of things. They are more conventional and I am more liberal. They were raised in a traditional Philippine way, and I was raised first generation in the states. We are different just because of that. But, it has come to the point where we disagree more and more. I feel like they know I'm older, but they treat me like I'm still a teen. So because of this, we butt heads all the time. But I suppose that's expected when you're an adult living under your parents' roof.
Friends are people who come into your life, make and impact, and either leave or continue to make an impact on your life. I have accepted the idea that there are friends who come and go. There are friends who are only friends due to proximity and situation. There are friends who are friends of your friends and that's the only reason they are your friends. I have learned that I can't hold on to ALL of the friends I have made. I have learned to appreciate those who stay and continue to impact my life.
In the past five months, I have redefined the meaning of a relationship. Previously, I have been able to get away with "Relationship: n. the joining of two people who share feelings for each other and do things the 'Katrina' way". My current relationship is forcing me to change this definition for the better. It is allowing me to grow up and realize that real relationships strive on the three C's: caring, communication, and compromise. One must truly care about the other's feelings and reactions to your actions and words. Outstanding communication is necessary to fully learn your significant other's feelings and reactions. And compromise is vital in order to make relationships work. I can't always have my way...although I sometimes think I can. I have learned that when one communicates, I actually listen and act rather than just hearing the words that they are saying.
As for the last two, they are somewhat intertwined. The serenity prayer has allowed me to get through a lot of hardships the past few months. For those of you who aren't familiar, it reads "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". It allows me to recognize the things I can and cannot change and from there I work on the things I can change and let go of the things I cannot change. It's therapuedic really. This has allowed me to see life in a new light. HE has allowed me to see life in a new light. I try to burden myself less and put it in HIS hands instead. I believe that everything happens for a reason; HIS reason. I believe that he has blessed me in more ways than I am aware of. I have learned to recognize my blessings when things look bleak. This, then, allows me to shine HIS light on others in their dark moments as well.
Some of you find all of this interesting, while others may find it boring and that's ok. This is simply a space for me to lay down my thoughts and reflect. It is up to you to share this space with me. Enjoy! And, until next time.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
