Emotions are quite intriguing. Different people deal with their emotions in different ways. Different emotions make you say and do different things. They are multi-leveled, complex, ways to express how we feel and react towards one thing or another.
We humans are complex creatures. As complex beings, we deal with our emotions in complex ways. Some people over-think and try to anticipate another humans reaction and change his/her emotions accordingly. However in most cases, in efforts to be two steps ahead he/she usually ends up tripping all over themselves and end up five steps back.
Do you ever notice that when some people are sad, they turn their sadness into anger. I must admit, I do this sometimes. As a scorpio, I am a very emotional creature. Ironically enough, while I am full of all sorts of emotions, I try so desperately not to show them to their full extent. I refuse to keep myself completely wide open like that. However, in all my efforts of concealing my full emotions, the only place you need to look to know exactly how I feel is on my metaphorical sleeve. Yes, that's right ladies and gentleman, I, not so proudly, wear an emotional sleeve. It's right there, out in the open, for everyone to see. As much as I try to cover it up or camouflage it somehow, it always manages to pop right out. And, apparently I swear emotional glasses at times too because you can see exactly how I feel by just looking into my eyes...damnit! I've got nowhere to hide them!
So there are times where I am so overwhelmed with sadness and longing I don't know how to properly convey that. Sometimes I try to cover up that sadness and longing but fail and it turns into anger. This anger is the outlet that saves me from being hurt more; the anger is a wall protecting my, already, vulnerable self. I tend to try to find a scapegoat and blame my sadness and longing on someone and that blame usually turns into anger. Or, sometimes in extreme sadness and longing, I turn the other way and completely close myself off. It hurts less that way...sometimes...
Unlike most Scorps, I am very slow-tempered. It takes A LOT to anger me. Yes, I do get irritated, aggrivated, and perhaps a little pissed off, but rarely do I ever get angry. If you have angered me in the past, I probably haven't talked to you since then. I don't forgive easily once I have felt anger towards someone. Actually, I don't forgive at all; I tend to hold a grudge as a matter of fact. Now, that grudge thing I'm working on. That non-forgiveness thing is a work in progress. But just know, if I have cut off all connections with you, it's probably because you made me truly mad.
On the flipside, there is happiness. There are so many ways I feel happiness. There are so many levels to which happiness is felt. For me, in the most simplified manner, there is content, happiness, excitement, ecstatic, and completely and utterly overjoyed beyond words and thought. No matter where my true emotions are on that scale, I usually like to only convey happiness. My eyes will tell you different, but I try to keep things at happy. I don't know why, but I don't like to show too much excitement. Very few people see beyond "happiness". Those few have peeled away my layers and have been able to see my full emotions.
Unlike myself, I know people who keep themselves wide open. You can read their emotions like a book. They hold nothing back. I think that's a little extreme and a bit overwhelming for anyone around that individual. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with another's emotions. It's bad enough you have to figure out you're own let alone deal with someone else's.
On the opposite end of the spectrum you've got those individuals who hardly show any emotions if any at all. They close themselves up; their emotions are in a safe where only they know the combination. I don't know that this is all that productive as well. How do others know how that person is feeling? We use emotions and reactions to judge other's personalities. How do you tell a person's personality if their emotions are under a few deadbolts and a lock and key?
Emotions are sometimes equated to vulnerability and/or exposure. Some people don't mind the exposure and others would rather stay locked up in a room/house than show their true emotions. I'd like to think I'm somewhere in the middle. There are times where I show too many emotions and tend to exhaust those around me. Then, there are times where I close myself up making it difficult to know how I've reacted to certain situations. I am learning to find a happy medium.
Some people are afraid to show their true emotions because they are afraid of what they may say or do. Some people say awful things when they are angry. They may not mean it, but they said it. I am a strong believer that if anyone says anything, even if it slips out, it hold some sort of truth because it would not have come out if it was not a thought in that person's head at one point in time. You may not mean what you said, but you must have thought it once or twice.
There are also those who are afraid to show their true feelings because they may be afraid of rejection. Some people will never tell the person they love that they love them for fear that the recipient may not love the sender back. And the rejection is too harmful for some and they would rather keep their true emotions to themselves than have to deal with rejections.
Some people express their emotions in actions. For example, I know many people who run when they're angry or stressed. It's a healthy, non-vulnerable outlet for those emotions. I know people who drink or do drugs to help them deal with their emotions. It's not so healthy, and perhaps not the smartest option, but to each his own.
With all that said, how do you deal with your emotions? Is it in a helpful way? or is it more harmful? Or, do you deal with your emotions at all? Why do you deal with your emotions they way you do, if at all? Are your emotions helping others around? Or, do they harm others around you?
Well, here is your musical connection of the day... enjoy :)
I was going to use Destiny's Child... but I thought I'd give you the originals...Oh the BeeGees
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number
The other day, I was talking to a girlfriend of mine and she was venting about how her friend keeps asking her to go out on a week-nights. She said she couldn't because she has to get up at 5am to go to work. Her friend then proceeded to call her boring. How old do you think my girlfriend is?
I have another story for you. I have another friend who asked if I wanted to go to Happy Hour on Thursday a few weeks ago. I had to decline because I have a hard time being able to go out on the weekends let alone the weekdays. Well this other friend of mine is a strong believer in Thirsty Thursdays and Sunday Fun-Days. How old do you think he is?
Well the first story my girlfriend is 21, and in the second story my friend is 30.
Then, you take myself as an example. I am a single-mother who was married and now going through a divorce. How old do you think I am? Without knowing me and just knowing those facts about me, many would think I am at least in my thirties. Wrong! I will be twenty-five next month. Because of my situation and my circumstances I have had to grow up a lot faster than my other friends. They worry still worry about where they are going to go out or which party to go to while I worry about how I'm going to pay for preschool, and how I need to save up for new clothes for my continuously growing son.
I find it so interesting how we put so much emphasis on age as we grow up. There are so many sayings such as, "act your age, not your shoe size". What defines age anyway? In the opening examples you've got a 21 year old acting more mature than the 30 year old. She recognizes the fact that she can't go out because she has to get up and go to work in the morning. As for my other friend, he still actively practices what college students practice.
Society is telling us that how old you are is so important. You've got magazines telling women that 40 is the new 20 and television shows to back up that ideal such as "Cougar Town". If you are forty years old, why do you want to act like a twenty year old? In service one Sunday, Pastor Jim said something that stuck with me. He said something to the extent of, "It is important to hold on to your childlike qualities. But at some point, we need to grow up and stop acting like a child." There is a huge difference between being childlike, and being childish.
Today's youth is growing up faster than the youth did just one decade ago because they are being exposed to certain things that I wasn't exposed to until I was in high school. There are anti-age creams and gels and this and that. Ironically, there are times when the people who use that STILL look older than the ones that are au natuale. There are things like botox and plastic surgery that helps you "preserve your age". What the heck does that mean!?!
All of this leads me to believe that age is nothing but a number. Maturity, clearly, knows no age as depicted in the early examples. I am also a strong believer of love knows no age. My boyfriend is nearly seven years older than me. Another one of my girlfriends is married to someone who is eight years older than her. And I have another girlfriend who is dating someone who is thirteen years older than her. Although my boyfriend and I joke a lot about the difference in our age, it doesn't change the fact that we are madly and deeply in love with each other. There are couples out there whose age difference is a lot greater than mine and they are madly and deeply in love with each other as well.
There are men with women who are old enough to be that woman's father, and even grandfather. There are women with men who could be that man's mother, or even grandmother. I must admit, I think it to be a bit odd for people to have significant others young enough to be their own children. But, I think it to be odd because society says it is odd.
Now, there is a line that is drawn in this ideal. This ideal only works with adults. It is wrong, odd, and most of all, illegal when minors are involved. For example, it is wrong when a sixteen year old has real, intimate relations with someone who is twenty-six years old. Yes, the difference is only ten years, but it is illegal!
We spend our lives trying to define age and define how old we are. When you want to get to know someone, sure, how old they are is important if large age gaps are important to you. However, what you really should ask yourself is "how mature is this person?" or "how old does this person act?" because what's the use dating someone your age is he/she acts like a child?
With all that said, I'm throwing some old school your way... RIP Aaliyah
Thanks for Listening!
...until next time...
I have another story for you. I have another friend who asked if I wanted to go to Happy Hour on Thursday a few weeks ago. I had to decline because I have a hard time being able to go out on the weekends let alone the weekdays. Well this other friend of mine is a strong believer in Thirsty Thursdays and Sunday Fun-Days. How old do you think he is?
Well the first story my girlfriend is 21, and in the second story my friend is 30.
Then, you take myself as an example. I am a single-mother who was married and now going through a divorce. How old do you think I am? Without knowing me and just knowing those facts about me, many would think I am at least in my thirties. Wrong! I will be twenty-five next month. Because of my situation and my circumstances I have had to grow up a lot faster than my other friends. They worry still worry about where they are going to go out or which party to go to while I worry about how I'm going to pay for preschool, and how I need to save up for new clothes for my continuously growing son.
I find it so interesting how we put so much emphasis on age as we grow up. There are so many sayings such as, "act your age, not your shoe size". What defines age anyway? In the opening examples you've got a 21 year old acting more mature than the 30 year old. She recognizes the fact that she can't go out because she has to get up and go to work in the morning. As for my other friend, he still actively practices what college students practice.
Society is telling us that how old you are is so important. You've got magazines telling women that 40 is the new 20 and television shows to back up that ideal such as "Cougar Town". If you are forty years old, why do you want to act like a twenty year old? In service one Sunday, Pastor Jim said something that stuck with me. He said something to the extent of, "It is important to hold on to your childlike qualities. But at some point, we need to grow up and stop acting like a child." There is a huge difference between being childlike, and being childish.
Today's youth is growing up faster than the youth did just one decade ago because they are being exposed to certain things that I wasn't exposed to until I was in high school. There are anti-age creams and gels and this and that. Ironically, there are times when the people who use that STILL look older than the ones that are au natuale. There are things like botox and plastic surgery that helps you "preserve your age". What the heck does that mean!?!
All of this leads me to believe that age is nothing but a number. Maturity, clearly, knows no age as depicted in the early examples. I am also a strong believer of love knows no age. My boyfriend is nearly seven years older than me. Another one of my girlfriends is married to someone who is eight years older than her. And I have another girlfriend who is dating someone who is thirteen years older than her. Although my boyfriend and I joke a lot about the difference in our age, it doesn't change the fact that we are madly and deeply in love with each other. There are couples out there whose age difference is a lot greater than mine and they are madly and deeply in love with each other as well.
There are men with women who are old enough to be that woman's father, and even grandfather. There are women with men who could be that man's mother, or even grandmother. I must admit, I think it to be a bit odd for people to have significant others young enough to be their own children. But, I think it to be odd because society says it is odd.
Now, there is a line that is drawn in this ideal. This ideal only works with adults. It is wrong, odd, and most of all, illegal when minors are involved. For example, it is wrong when a sixteen year old has real, intimate relations with someone who is twenty-six years old. Yes, the difference is only ten years, but it is illegal!
We spend our lives trying to define age and define how old we are. When you want to get to know someone, sure, how old they are is important if large age gaps are important to you. However, what you really should ask yourself is "how mature is this person?" or "how old does this person act?" because what's the use dating someone your age is he/she acts like a child?
With all that said, I'm throwing some old school your way... RIP Aaliyah
Thanks for Listening!
...until next time...
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Light
Today, I was thinking about the concept of "light". There are so many different ways one interprets "the light". When you look up the word "light" the dictionary gives you all sorts of different definitions that is summed up as an illumination or an awareness when used as a noun, bright and luminescent when used as an adjective, and to ignite or start a fire when used as a verb. When i contemplated the idea of light further and further throughout the day, the idea became more and more complex. Light has a very popular positive connotation. However, the light can be seen in a negative manner as well.
On one hand, light can be seen as a sign of hope when used in the well known phrase "I can see the light at the end of the tunnel". It's used in a positive way as the light is used to brighten the darkness. Or you will also hear people say, "you are the light of my life" to describe how a person brings light to the dark life or perhaps brightens an already happy person's life or day.
Generally speaking I see a positive type of light in two basic ways. One is the light such as moonlight. The light of the moon shines gloriously upon the dark canvas that is night. It sheds light on places where there is no light creating such emphasis on how powerful a spot of light can be in dark places. And on the other hand there is the light that is like daylight. Daylight brightens what is already a lit day. The sun's rays amplify the day making it a brighter day.
In opposition, there are negative connotations of light. For example, when people express the phrase, "don't follow the light" as if the "light" signifies one's death. Now I understand that's a debatable point seeing as though those with terminal illnesses and such may want to go towards the light to alleviate their pain. But, generally speaking, a healthy person would tell another healthy person to "stay away from the light". Or another negative is if you are ever to be interrogated. I personally have never gone through this. I just see this on tv and in movies. The infamous interrogation light. This light is shoved in your face to get you "to talk", so to speak. It is supposed to get your nerves going and make you sweat.
What does one make of the light that is spotlight? Some people enjoy being in the spotlight, and some people don't enjoy the spotlight in the least. Some people commit a crime and run from the spotlight of "ghetto birds" (if you don't know what i'm talking about, ask someone...). However, if you're on a performance stage, you seek the spotlight; you earn the right to be in the spotlight; to be highlighted in a performance setting.
One of the definitions of light in the verb form is to ignite, like fire. Yesterday, my pastor spoke of fire in two different manners. Fire can keep you warm, or it can burn you if you get too close. Is that the same as the light? Is your light keeping you warm? Or is it burning you?
Kids go to sleep with a nightlight. Is the light really that comforting? What is it about the light that makes things so comforting? Do you ever wonder that? Or, perhaps it has nothing to do with the light. Perhaps the question is, what is it about the dark that makes it so frightening? Well, personally I'm not a fan of the dark. But more so than anything, I'm not a fan of shadows in the night. What causes shadows... well an object interfering with the path of the light. If there is no light, there is no shadow.
I prefer the light over the dark. I seek light in a dark situation. The moonlight has a greater impact on me than the sunlight. I search for the light in people. I understand that all of us as humans have some darkness in us, but I look for the light to shine through in people's personalities, in their eyes, and in their souls.
Ironically, with all that said, light is necessary to us as human beings. Sunlight is necessary for plants to grow and therefore the light is necessary for us when it comes to food.The sunlight also provides vitamins our body needs to function properly as well. The light is necessary for us to see colors. No colors exist if there is an absence of light. The light enables us to see objects and to see one another. For those who are capable of reading this, consider yourself blessed because there are those who cannot see to read this, and therefore cannot see the light. Light direct us. It tells us when to go and stop. Light gives us a heads up and a warning when flashing. Light can be an indication of life.
With all this said, I'm going to leave you with this...one of my most favorite songs of all time...
What does light mean to you? Do you have someone who is the light of your life? What purposes does light serve you? Do you have a love for the light, or is it the fear of darkness? Could you imagine your life without it?
Thanks for listening!
...until next time... :)
On one hand, light can be seen as a sign of hope when used in the well known phrase "I can see the light at the end of the tunnel". It's used in a positive way as the light is used to brighten the darkness. Or you will also hear people say, "you are the light of my life" to describe how a person brings light to the dark life or perhaps brightens an already happy person's life or day.
Generally speaking I see a positive type of light in two basic ways. One is the light such as moonlight. The light of the moon shines gloriously upon the dark canvas that is night. It sheds light on places where there is no light creating such emphasis on how powerful a spot of light can be in dark places. And on the other hand there is the light that is like daylight. Daylight brightens what is already a lit day. The sun's rays amplify the day making it a brighter day.
In opposition, there are negative connotations of light. For example, when people express the phrase, "don't follow the light" as if the "light" signifies one's death. Now I understand that's a debatable point seeing as though those with terminal illnesses and such may want to go towards the light to alleviate their pain. But, generally speaking, a healthy person would tell another healthy person to "stay away from the light". Or another negative is if you are ever to be interrogated. I personally have never gone through this. I just see this on tv and in movies. The infamous interrogation light. This light is shoved in your face to get you "to talk", so to speak. It is supposed to get your nerves going and make you sweat.
What does one make of the light that is spotlight? Some people enjoy being in the spotlight, and some people don't enjoy the spotlight in the least. Some people commit a crime and run from the spotlight of "ghetto birds" (if you don't know what i'm talking about, ask someone...). However, if you're on a performance stage, you seek the spotlight; you earn the right to be in the spotlight; to be highlighted in a performance setting.
One of the definitions of light in the verb form is to ignite, like fire. Yesterday, my pastor spoke of fire in two different manners. Fire can keep you warm, or it can burn you if you get too close. Is that the same as the light? Is your light keeping you warm? Or is it burning you?
Kids go to sleep with a nightlight. Is the light really that comforting? What is it about the light that makes things so comforting? Do you ever wonder that? Or, perhaps it has nothing to do with the light. Perhaps the question is, what is it about the dark that makes it so frightening? Well, personally I'm not a fan of the dark. But more so than anything, I'm not a fan of shadows in the night. What causes shadows... well an object interfering with the path of the light. If there is no light, there is no shadow.
I prefer the light over the dark. I seek light in a dark situation. The moonlight has a greater impact on me than the sunlight. I search for the light in people. I understand that all of us as humans have some darkness in us, but I look for the light to shine through in people's personalities, in their eyes, and in their souls.
Ironically, with all that said, light is necessary to us as human beings. Sunlight is necessary for plants to grow and therefore the light is necessary for us when it comes to food.The sunlight also provides vitamins our body needs to function properly as well. The light is necessary for us to see colors. No colors exist if there is an absence of light. The light enables us to see objects and to see one another. For those who are capable of reading this, consider yourself blessed because there are those who cannot see to read this, and therefore cannot see the light. Light direct us. It tells us when to go and stop. Light gives us a heads up and a warning when flashing. Light can be an indication of life.
With all this said, I'm going to leave you with this...one of my most favorite songs of all time...
What does light mean to you? Do you have someone who is the light of your life? What purposes does light serve you? Do you have a love for the light, or is it the fear of darkness? Could you imagine your life without it?
Thanks for listening!
...until next time... :)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Take 2
Ok, so i realize i really suck at life when it comes to this blogging thing. At first, I tried doing it at work. Clearly that didn't work. I was occupied with more important things like TFLN, FML, and Bejewled. But now I have my own computer at home, so we're going to attempt to write at night before I pass out at night. I'm really going to try, but GOD knows there are times where I knock out and there is no use in reviving me until the morning. But, i figure it's really good for me to write because I'm returning to that point where thoughts constantly run through my head and there is not a single outlet for them to escape. So, they continuously bounce around in my skull taking a number for priority. So, this will be like my public journal in hopes to relieve some "thought-overload" in my brain.
Here we go with this evening's thoughts...
Do you ever wonder WHY certain people are brought in your life? I strongly believe that GOD puts people in your life to serve a particular purposes. HE places these people in our lives to help us fulfill HIS purpose; to guide us on the path HE wants us to live. There are two types of people. There are those people GOD puts in your life to help you learn a lesson, or come to some sort of realization, or just to help you grow to a certain point. However, once that person has fulfilled GOD's purpose he/she tends to simply fall of the map. Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, you've got the people GOD strategically places in your life and intends for them to stay a lifetime. The first type of people I will so creatively label as the temps, and the later will be the permanies.
As I grow up and get older (woo hoo 25 soon!!), I have come to realize and recognize that there are these two types of people in my life. This was a hard realization to come to. I grew up with, essentially, the same core group of people my entire early childhood. I attended the same school from Pre-Kindergarten all the way through 12th grade. Yes, I attended the same school for 13 (I skipped a grade) years! That means I was with the same people for most of my early childhood. Sure, there were those kids who joined the class in middle and high school. And, yes, there were those kids who left somewhere in the middle too. So clearly those kids were temps. However, for the most part, I've grown up around the same people for the majority of my life. With all of that explained, I had it in my head that those closest to me then will ALWAYS be close to me. And, why not? We grew up together!
Then, I've got my friends from college. I only knew them for four years of my life. We were all from different parts of the country to begin with. I have always heard stories of people who meet their bestest (yes, i realize that's not a real word) friends in the entire world in college, but I never understood how. I mean, I only know these people for four years compared to the people I've known for 8-12+ years. There's no way that these college friends could be permanies. I've got all the permanies i need from high school, right?!?
When you continue past college, you've got those people you meet in the workplace. This is where things get a little tricky because it depends on how long you've been at one particular job. But, even still, permanies are present here too.
I say all of this as kind of a background of how I thought that was how the world worked. But, as I grow older, I realize that even the people I grew up with can be temps, and those from college and the workplace can be permanies. It doesn't really matter how long you've known someone or how you've grown up together. What really matters is how you are growing up as individuals and if your growth as individuals coincide with each other. For example, i'm finding that some friends I've had as a kid all throughout high school may not really be as close anymore because of the rate we are maturing and growing. As a mother I find myself growing up a lot faster than most 24, 25 year olds. Most people I know that are around my age don't have a kid to worry about therefore our mentalities are completely different; our priorities are completely opposite. Therefore, it's really hard to contribute to each other's growth, and it's extremely difficult to conicide in each other's individuals growth when you two are on completely different levels to begin with.
I am also finding that I continue to stay close to some of my college friends even though we are so far apart. Now, I can't say that any of them are moms but it just seems like they understand what I'm going through a little bit better. Perhaps it's because we went through similar problems as adults in college. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it just seems that the way we are growing individually follow a similar path. My friends from my childhood have all grown up too, but it seems like our paths have diverted and looks to be heading in different directions as if we hit a huge fork in the road and I went left while the other went right.
Lastly, you've got the people from the workplace. I have realized that most of my 'friends' in the workplace are my 'friends' because of proximity. We go to work everyday for five days a week. It's hard not to be friendly towards some of the people you work with. After being there for a while, you tend to connect to a certain group of people you consider your friends. However, you realize they are temps when one of you leave the company for whatever reason and fall out after a little while. You will call and email frequently soon after the departure from the company. But, the calls and the emails become less and less frequent and the next thing you know you're just keeping up with them by looking at their status on facebook.
Now all of this comes to me this evening because I constantly wonder WHY someone is put in my life. I ask what their purpose is in my life; is he/she a temp or a permany? I also think of this because I was looking at my high school year book a few weeks back and see the groups of friends back then and how many people still actually speak to each other seven years later. I find that some of the people I couldn't live without back in the day are the same people I'm keeping up with by reading their status on facebook. I find it very interesting to see who comes in my life and who departs from my life. I try to figure out what I have learned from the different temps in my life. I try to think of how the temps have changed my life, what lesson did I learn from them directly or what lesson I have learned from having some sort of relations with them. Then I look at the potential permanies and think about the possible lessons I can learn from them, what piece of wisdom can i acquire from knowing them, etc.
There could be a number of reasons why potential permanies turn out to be temps in your life. Only HE knows the true path of your relationships with others. Although the temps may exit, I don't like to completely cease relations with them. I choose not to completely burn bridges with some people. There are those temps who need to be cut off because they didn't really help with my growth. They may have taught me an important lesson in life, but it may have been due to the mistakes I have made throughout our relationship. Temps who could hinder my growth and harm me are those I cut off completely. But for most temps, I choose not to burn our bridge.
I think of it as you never know when you may need them again later. You don't know if they're really a temp or if there a permany taking a vacation. You would want to keep that relationship just in case you need to turn to someone. You'd be surprised to see which individuals re-enter your life and serve a greater purpose than you could have ever imagined. You never know, the person who may have your back at the end of the day may be the person you least expected.
Who do you think your temps and permanies are? What lessons have you learned from your temps? What do you anticipate learning from your permanies? Who are you a permany/temp to? How do you impact other's lives? Do you like how you've impacted/how you impact others? If not, then a self re-evaluation is in store :)
Thanks for listening!
Until next time.......
Here we go with this evening's thoughts...
Do you ever wonder WHY certain people are brought in your life? I strongly believe that GOD puts people in your life to serve a particular purposes. HE places these people in our lives to help us fulfill HIS purpose; to guide us on the path HE wants us to live. There are two types of people. There are those people GOD puts in your life to help you learn a lesson, or come to some sort of realization, or just to help you grow to a certain point. However, once that person has fulfilled GOD's purpose he/she tends to simply fall of the map. Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, you've got the people GOD strategically places in your life and intends for them to stay a lifetime. The first type of people I will so creatively label as the temps, and the later will be the permanies.
As I grow up and get older (woo hoo 25 soon!!), I have come to realize and recognize that there are these two types of people in my life. This was a hard realization to come to. I grew up with, essentially, the same core group of people my entire early childhood. I attended the same school from Pre-Kindergarten all the way through 12th grade. Yes, I attended the same school for 13 (I skipped a grade) years! That means I was with the same people for most of my early childhood. Sure, there were those kids who joined the class in middle and high school. And, yes, there were those kids who left somewhere in the middle too. So clearly those kids were temps. However, for the most part, I've grown up around the same people for the majority of my life. With all of that explained, I had it in my head that those closest to me then will ALWAYS be close to me. And, why not? We grew up together!
Then, I've got my friends from college. I only knew them for four years of my life. We were all from different parts of the country to begin with. I have always heard stories of people who meet their bestest (yes, i realize that's not a real word) friends in the entire world in college, but I never understood how. I mean, I only know these people for four years compared to the people I've known for 8-12+ years. There's no way that these college friends could be permanies. I've got all the permanies i need from high school, right?!?
When you continue past college, you've got those people you meet in the workplace. This is where things get a little tricky because it depends on how long you've been at one particular job. But, even still, permanies are present here too.
I say all of this as kind of a background of how I thought that was how the world worked. But, as I grow older, I realize that even the people I grew up with can be temps, and those from college and the workplace can be permanies. It doesn't really matter how long you've known someone or how you've grown up together. What really matters is how you are growing up as individuals and if your growth as individuals coincide with each other. For example, i'm finding that some friends I've had as a kid all throughout high school may not really be as close anymore because of the rate we are maturing and growing. As a mother I find myself growing up a lot faster than most 24, 25 year olds. Most people I know that are around my age don't have a kid to worry about therefore our mentalities are completely different; our priorities are completely opposite. Therefore, it's really hard to contribute to each other's growth, and it's extremely difficult to conicide in each other's individuals growth when you two are on completely different levels to begin with.
I am also finding that I continue to stay close to some of my college friends even though we are so far apart. Now, I can't say that any of them are moms but it just seems like they understand what I'm going through a little bit better. Perhaps it's because we went through similar problems as adults in college. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it just seems that the way we are growing individually follow a similar path. My friends from my childhood have all grown up too, but it seems like our paths have diverted and looks to be heading in different directions as if we hit a huge fork in the road and I went left while the other went right.
Lastly, you've got the people from the workplace. I have realized that most of my 'friends' in the workplace are my 'friends' because of proximity. We go to work everyday for five days a week. It's hard not to be friendly towards some of the people you work with. After being there for a while, you tend to connect to a certain group of people you consider your friends. However, you realize they are temps when one of you leave the company for whatever reason and fall out after a little while. You will call and email frequently soon after the departure from the company. But, the calls and the emails become less and less frequent and the next thing you know you're just keeping up with them by looking at their status on facebook.
Now all of this comes to me this evening because I constantly wonder WHY someone is put in my life. I ask what their purpose is in my life; is he/she a temp or a permany? I also think of this because I was looking at my high school year book a few weeks back and see the groups of friends back then and how many people still actually speak to each other seven years later. I find that some of the people I couldn't live without back in the day are the same people I'm keeping up with by reading their status on facebook. I find it very interesting to see who comes in my life and who departs from my life. I try to figure out what I have learned from the different temps in my life. I try to think of how the temps have changed my life, what lesson did I learn from them directly or what lesson I have learned from having some sort of relations with them. Then I look at the potential permanies and think about the possible lessons I can learn from them, what piece of wisdom can i acquire from knowing them, etc.
There could be a number of reasons why potential permanies turn out to be temps in your life. Only HE knows the true path of your relationships with others. Although the temps may exit, I don't like to completely cease relations with them. I choose not to completely burn bridges with some people. There are those temps who need to be cut off because they didn't really help with my growth. They may have taught me an important lesson in life, but it may have been due to the mistakes I have made throughout our relationship. Temps who could hinder my growth and harm me are those I cut off completely. But for most temps, I choose not to burn our bridge.
I think of it as you never know when you may need them again later. You don't know if they're really a temp or if there a permany taking a vacation. You would want to keep that relationship just in case you need to turn to someone. You'd be surprised to see which individuals re-enter your life and serve a greater purpose than you could have ever imagined. You never know, the person who may have your back at the end of the day may be the person you least expected.
Who do you think your temps and permanies are? What lessons have you learned from your temps? What do you anticipate learning from your permanies? Who are you a permany/temp to? How do you impact other's lives? Do you like how you've impacted/how you impact others? If not, then a self re-evaluation is in store :)
Thanks for listening!
Until next time.......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
