Emotions

Emotions are quite intriguing. Different people deal with their emotions in different ways. Different emotions make you say and do different things. They are multi-leveled, complex, ways to express how we feel and react towards one thing or another.

We humans are complex creatures. As complex beings, we deal with our emotions in complex ways. Some people over-think and try to anticipate another humans reaction and change his/her emotions accordingly. However in most cases, in efforts to be two steps ahead he/she usually ends up tripping all over themselves and end up five steps back.

Do you ever notice that when some people are sad, they turn their sadness into anger. I must admit, I do this sometimes. As a scorpio, I am a very emotional creature. Ironically enough, while I am full of all sorts of emotions, I try so desperately not to show them to their full extent. I refuse to keep myself completely wide open like that. However, in all my efforts of concealing my full emotions, the only place you need to look to know exactly how I feel is on my metaphorical sleeve. Yes, that's right ladies and gentleman, I, not so proudly, wear an emotional sleeve. It's right there, out in the open, for everyone to see. As much as I try to cover it up or camouflage it somehow, it always manages to pop right out. And, apparently I swear emotional glasses at times too because you can see exactly how I feel by just looking into my eyes...damnit! I've got nowhere to hide them!

So there are times where I am so overwhelmed with sadness and longing I don't know how to properly convey that. Sometimes I try to cover up that sadness and longing but fail and it turns into anger. This anger is the outlet that saves me from being hurt more; the anger is a wall protecting my, already, vulnerable self. I tend to try to find a scapegoat and blame my sadness and longing on someone and that blame usually turns into anger. Or, sometimes in extreme sadness and longing, I turn the other way and completely close myself off. It hurts less that way...sometimes...

Unlike most Scorps, I am very slow-tempered. It takes A LOT to anger me. Yes, I do get irritated, aggrivated, and perhaps a little pissed off, but rarely do I ever get angry. If you have angered me in the past, I probably haven't talked to you since then. I don't forgive easily once I have felt anger towards someone. Actually, I don't forgive at all; I tend to hold a grudge as a matter of fact. Now, that grudge thing I'm working on. That non-forgiveness thing is a work in progress. But just know, if I have cut off all connections with you, it's probably because you made me truly mad.

On the flipside, there is happiness. There are so many ways I feel happiness. There are so many levels to which happiness is felt. For me, in the most simplified manner, there is content, happiness, excitement, ecstatic, and completely and utterly overjoyed beyond words and thought. No matter where my true emotions are on that scale, I usually like to only convey happiness. My eyes will tell you different, but I try to keep things at happy. I don't know why, but I don't like to show too much excitement. Very few people see beyond "happiness". Those few have peeled away my layers and have been able to see my full emotions.

Unlike myself, I know people who keep themselves wide open. You can read their emotions like a book. They hold nothing back. I think that's a little extreme and a bit overwhelming for anyone around that individual. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with another's emotions. It's bad enough you have to figure out you're own let alone deal with someone else's.

On the opposite end of the spectrum you've got those individuals who hardly show any emotions if any at all. They close themselves up; their emotions are in a safe where only they know the combination. I don't know that this is all that productive as well. How do others know how that person is feeling? We use emotions and reactions to judge other's personalities. How do you tell a person's personality if their emotions are under a few deadbolts and a lock and key?

Emotions are sometimes equated to vulnerability and/or exposure. Some people don't mind the exposure and others would rather stay locked up in a room/house than show their true emotions. I'd like to think I'm somewhere in the middle. There are times where I show too many emotions and tend to exhaust those around me. Then, there are times where I close myself up making it difficult to know how I've reacted to certain situations. I am learning to find a happy medium.

Some people are afraid to show their true emotions because they are afraid of what they may say or do. Some people say awful things when they are angry. They may not mean it, but they said it. I am a strong believer that if anyone says anything, even if it slips out, it hold some sort of truth because it would not have come out if it was not a thought in that person's head at one point in time. You may not mean what you said, but you must have thought it once or twice.

There are also those who are afraid to show their true feelings because they may be afraid of rejection. Some people will never tell the person they love that they love them for fear that the recipient may not love the sender back. And the rejection is too harmful for some and they would rather keep their true emotions to themselves than have to deal with rejections.

Some people express their emotions in actions. For example, I know many people who run when they're angry or stressed. It's a healthy, non-vulnerable outlet for those emotions. I know people who drink or do drugs to help them deal with their emotions. It's not so healthy, and perhaps not the smartest option, but to each his own.

With all that said, how do you deal with your emotions? Is it in a helpful way? or is it more harmful? Or, do you deal with your emotions at all? Why do you deal with your emotions they way you do, if at all? Are your emotions helping others around? Or, do they harm others around you?

Well, here is your musical connection of the day... enjoy :)


I was going to use Destiny's Child... but I thought I'd give you the originals...Oh the BeeGees
Thanks for listening!
...until next time...