Take 2

Ok, so i realize i really suck at life when it comes to this blogging thing. At first, I tried doing it at work. Clearly that didn't work. I was occupied with more important things like TFLN, FML, and Bejewled. But now I have my own computer at home, so we're going to attempt to write at night before I pass out at night. I'm really going to try, but GOD knows there are times where I knock out and there is no use in reviving me until the morning. But, i figure it's really good for me to write because I'm returning to that point where thoughts constantly run through my head and there is not a single outlet for them to escape. So, they continuously bounce around in my skull taking a number for priority. So, this will be like my public journal in hopes to relieve some "thought-overload" in my brain.

Here we go with this evening's thoughts...

Do you ever wonder WHY certain people are brought in your life? I strongly believe that GOD puts people in your life to serve a particular purposes. HE places these people in our lives to help us fulfill HIS purpose; to guide us on the path HE wants us to live. There are two types of people. There are those people GOD puts in your life to help you learn a lesson, or come to some sort of realization, or just to help you grow to a certain point. However, once that person has fulfilled GOD's purpose he/she tends to simply fall of the map. Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, you've got the people GOD strategically places in your life and intends for them to stay a lifetime. The first type of people I will so creatively label as the temps, and the later will be the permanies.

As I grow up and get older (woo hoo 25 soon!!), I have come to realize and recognize that there are these two types of people in my life. This was a hard realization to come to. I grew up with, essentially, the same core group of people my entire early childhood. I attended the same school from Pre-Kindergarten all the way through 12th grade. Yes, I attended the same school for 13 (I skipped a grade) years! That means I was with the same people for most of my early childhood. Sure, there were those kids who joined the class in middle and high school. And, yes, there were those kids who left somewhere in the middle too. So clearly those kids were temps. However, for the most part, I've grown up around the same people for the majority of my life. With all of that explained, I had it in my head that those closest to me then will ALWAYS be close to me. And, why not? We grew up together!

Then, I've got my friends from college. I only knew them for four years of my life. We were all from different parts of the country to begin with. I have always heard stories of people who meet their bestest (yes, i realize that's not a real word) friends in the entire world in college, but I never understood how. I mean, I only know these people for four years compared to the people I've known for 8-12+ years. There's no way that these college friends could be permanies. I've got all the permanies i need from high school, right?!?

When you continue past college, you've got those people you meet in the workplace. This is where things get a little tricky because it depends on how long you've been at one particular job. But, even still, permanies are present here too.

I say all of this as kind of a background of how I thought that was how the world worked. But, as I grow older, I realize that even the people I grew up with can be temps, and those from college and the workplace can be permanies. It doesn't really matter how long you've known someone or how you've grown up together. What really matters is how you are growing up as individuals and if your growth as individuals coincide with each other. For example, i'm finding that some friends I've had as a kid all throughout high school may not really be as close anymore because of the rate we are maturing and growing. As a mother I find myself growing up a lot faster than most 24, 25 year olds. Most people I know that are around my age don't have a kid to worry about therefore our mentalities are completely different; our priorities are completely opposite. Therefore, it's really hard to contribute to each other's growth, and it's extremely difficult to conicide in each other's individuals growth when you two are on completely different levels to begin with.

I am also finding that I continue to stay close to some of my college friends even though we are so far apart. Now, I can't say that any of them are moms but it just seems like they understand what I'm going through a little bit better. Perhaps it's because we went through similar problems as adults in college. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it just seems that the way we are growing individually follow a similar path. My friends from my childhood have all grown up too, but it seems like our paths have diverted and looks to be heading in different directions as if we hit a huge fork in the road and I went left while the other went right.

Lastly, you've got the people from the workplace. I have realized that most of my 'friends' in the workplace are my 'friends' because of proximity. We go to work everyday for five days a week. It's hard not to be friendly towards some of the people you work with. After being there for a while, you tend to connect to a certain group of people you consider your friends. However, you realize they are temps when one of you leave the company for whatever reason and fall out after a little while. You will call and email frequently soon after the departure from the company. But, the calls and the emails become less and less frequent and the next thing you know you're just keeping up with them by looking at their status on facebook.

Now all of this comes to me this evening because I constantly wonder WHY someone is put in my life. I ask what their purpose is in my life; is he/she a temp or a permany? I also think of this because I was looking at my high school year book a few weeks back and see the groups of friends back then and how many people still actually speak to each other seven years later. I find that some of the people I couldn't live without back in the day are the same people I'm keeping up with by reading their status on facebook. I find it very interesting to see who comes in my life and who departs from my life. I try to figure out what I have learned from the different temps in my life. I try to think of how the temps have changed my life, what lesson did I learn from them directly or what lesson I have learned from having some sort of relations with them. Then I look at the potential permanies and think about the possible lessons I can learn from them, what piece of wisdom can i acquire from knowing them, etc.

There could be a number of reasons why potential permanies turn out to be temps in your life. Only HE knows the true path of your relationships with others. Although the temps may exit, I don't like to completely cease relations with them. I choose not to completely burn bridges with some people. There are those temps who need to be cut off because they didn't really help with my growth. They may have taught me an important lesson in life, but it may have been due to the mistakes I have made throughout our relationship. Temps who could hinder my growth and harm me are those I cut off completely. But for most temps, I choose not to burn our bridge.

I think of it as you never know when you may need them again later. You don't know if they're really a temp or if there a permany taking a vacation. You would want to keep that relationship just in case you need to turn to someone. You'd be surprised to see which individuals re-enter your life and serve a greater purpose than you could have ever imagined. You never know, the person who may have your back at the end of the day may be the person you least expected.

Who do you think your temps and permanies are? What lessons have you learned from your temps? What do you anticipate learning from your permanies? Who are you a permany/temp to? How do you impact other's lives? Do you like how you've impacted/how you impact others? If not, then a self re-evaluation is in store :)

Thanks for listening!
Until next time.......